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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #show #percentages #men #women #employment #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The following bar graphs provide the data on the percentages of employed
men
Use synonyms
 and women in
Canada
Use synonyms
, South
Korea
Use synonyms
 and Sweden for the years
of
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apply
show examples
2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the indicators for
men
Use synonyms
 in all 3 countries are higher than women in both 3 years,
whereas
Linking Words
 a reduction in the proportions of
men
Use synonyms
 was observed in 2015 compared to 2005. Delving into the details, the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 who work was over 70 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in South
Korea
Use synonyms
 and Sweden in 2005, and
Canada
Use synonyms
 could reach approximately 70 per
cent
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 in 2015. 30 per
cent
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 of women in South
Korea
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 had worked in 2005, representing the lowest proportion among other countries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Sweden and
Canada
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 represented the same proportion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 male workers, accounting for 70 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2015 and South
Korea
Use synonyms
 was close to 80 per
cent
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according to
Linking Words
 rates of male employees.
Additionally
Linking Words
, South
Korea
Use synonyms
 was the lowest country for the shares of female workers in 2015, representing a slight increment compared to 2005. The proportions for women`s employment rate in
Canada
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, was over 50 % in 2015.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, canada, korea, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 4 times.
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