Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today, many
students
intend to participate in
subjects
that are not related to their major in University.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
there is an opponent idea that they should merely focus on their field of study and gain one qualification. Despite
this
controversy, I believe that
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
multitasking is more beneficial in both life and career. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss both views and express my opinion either. Nowadays, many youngsters are interested in learning alternative skills and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
their knowledge in different tasks since
recently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
being
master
Correct article usage
a master
show examples
in only one major is not enough.
For example
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies are willing to hire a candidate who stands out and can function more efficiently and is able to manage
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of tasks simultaneously.
Moreover
, the
students
can broaden their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
by taking practical lessons.
Thus
, they have more ability to deal with new difficulties that could be faced in the future.
Besides
, people with extra information can take part in distinctive communities and flourish their communication skills which is a very useful capability.
On the other hand
,
due to
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
notion, some
students
might be more engaged with additional classes and
losing
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
their golden time to obtain the necessary qualification through their major and
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
not have the adequate understanding to find an appropriate job. In
this
case, it is not only beneficial but
also
is
wasting
Replace the word
waste
show examples
time
Change preposition
of time
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.
For instance
, when
students
who
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
sciences
such
as medicine focus on additional
subjects
more, they probably
losing
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
time to study for their exams or
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
their education for
further
jobs.
Consequencely
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, they will fail or in the worst case scenario, they will be a doctor with
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
competency
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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patient's
Correct article usage
the patient's
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life
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
risk.
To sum up
, both visions are considerable and the best suggestion might be
making
Change the verb form
to make
show examples
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
to take advantage
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
every new activity that you want to be instructed
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
There should be a limit that nobody exceeded.
Finally
, in my side of view, learning about other
subjects
in addition
to
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subjects
, will have merits that can overcome drawbacks.
Submitted by reihanetorfe on

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Task Response
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the question and provides a clear opinion. Include examples and evidence to support arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas logically and use cohesive devices to connect them effectively. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise language to express ideas.
Grammatical Range
Check for grammatical errors and aim for more complexity and variety in sentence structures.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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