The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The above bar diagram illustrates the free
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
spent by both genders that are employed
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
different working persons. In
this
essay, we could explain wider on the given information.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working people do not have much
time
to spend on their own, when compared to the unemployed and retired workers. There is no free spent by
men
both employed (
Part
Add a hyphen
Part-time
show examples
time
) and Housewives.
Secondly
, the women are the ones who have more fun
time
to the
men
in all different working levels
that is
employed (Full-
time
), employed (Part-
time
), Unemployed, Retired and housewives. Among all these workers, both unemployed and Retired people
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a lot of
time
to spend on their own wish
that is
85% are
men
and 79% of women. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women are spending more
time
on themselves than
men
. Employed people have less
time
when compared the retired workers.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time employment
  • part-time employment
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • housewives
  • gender comparison
  • notable differences
  • allocate time
  • trend analysis
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • societal norms
  • economic factors
  • gender-specific trends
  • employment transition
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