IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pie charts provide information about how much
water
Use synonyms
 is being used for different purposes
such
Linking Words
 as industrial, agricultural and domestic in percentage.
These information
Change the determiner
This information
show examples
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
 six different places in the world. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance, it can be clearly seen that Europe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and North America have the most consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial use. As is observed, agricultural use has the most portion of
Use synonyms
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
 used in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four areas. Among these four areas, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 agriculture involves
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
88% of
Use synonyms
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
 used which is the highest percentage among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 other countries.
Besides
Linking Words
, the portion of
water
Use synonyms
 used
in domestic
Rephrase
domestically
show examples
 in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 is equal to South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 which is 7%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 has the lowest amount of
water
Use synonyms
 used in industry which is 5%.
Also
Linking Words
, the highest rank of
water
Use synonyms
 used
in domestic
Rephrase
domestically
show examples
 belongs to South America. The interesting point is that Europe has the lowest rank of
water
Use synonyms
 used in agriculture which is 3296.
Submitted by hanarad41 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, asia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
What to do next:
Look at other essays: