The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes
The given diagrams illustrate the way in which
cement
is made and used to make concentrate for manufacturing purposes. It is apparent that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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limestone and clay pass through
into
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apply
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four stages before
bagged
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being bagged
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and ready to use as
cement
, after which 15% of
cement
is used for making compound concrete.
While
cement
production consists of several stages and tools, concrete production requires only one stage and one tool,
concrete
Correct article usage
a concrete
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mixer. In the first stage of making
cement
, limestone and clay are crushed together to form powder.
Next,
the
result
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resulting
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powder is sent through the mixer before entering a rotating heater with constant heat applied at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one end of
tube
Add an article
the tube
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. After heated, the material is poured into the grinder and after that
cement
is ready to package. In terms of concrete production, the main material is gravel, which is small stones, and
this
make
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makes
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up exactly
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half of
ingredients
Correct article usage
the ingredients
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, 50%. The other materials used are sand (25%),
cement
(15%), and water (10%). All the materials are
pouring
Wrong verb form
poured
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into the concrete mixer until all of them are combined and
concrete
Correct article usage
the concrete
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ready
Add a missing verb
is ready
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to use for building purposes.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • quarrying
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • grinding
  • kiln
  • clinker
  • gypsum
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • concrete
  • building materials
  • limestone
  • clay
  • fine powder
  • rotating
  • cooling
  • hydration
  • aggregate
  • compression
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