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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of water u sed for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selectin

The charts below show the percentage of water u sed for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selectin
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #selectin
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The given pie chart illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 used in different six areas of the world. Almost the pie chart
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 that
water
Use synonyms
 used for domestic
purposes
Use synonyms
 got the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
, and most largest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was for agricultural
purposes
Use synonyms
, like in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
, Africa and South
America
Use synonyms
. Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 has the greatest
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 which
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 88%. It’s very different in Europe, they used more
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial
purposes
Use synonyms
 than for agriculture
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 53%. If we look
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Africa, they got 84% of agricultural
water
Use synonyms
purposes
Use synonyms
that’s
Verb problem
which
show examples
mean
Replace the word
means
show examples
 Africa was in second place after Central
Asia
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 we check for
America
Use synonyms
, between North and South have the different
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
. South
America
Use synonyms
 has 71% for agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 and just 10% for industrial
use
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 North
America
Use synonyms
just
Add a missing verb
has just
show examples
 39%
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
agicultural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 and 48%
fot
Correct your spelling
for
 industrial
use
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 was for agricultural
purposes
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, for continents
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
containing developed
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
 like Europe and North
America
Use synonyms
 the
water
Use synonyms
uses
Wrong verb form
is used
show examples
 more for Industrial
purposes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, water, purposes, asia, america, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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