IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation. Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter. - thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience - explain what you hope to learn from the work experience - ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do

#three #months #work #organisation #manager #opportunity #hope #questions
Dear sir; I am writing to express my appreciation to offers
such
 an opportunity for me to
doing
Change the form of the verb
do
show examples
this
 work experience. hoping during
this
 period to learn innovative methods for
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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productivity and
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 a high limit of efficiency which, will reflect on my career,
s
Correct your spelling
's
 resumes.
In addition
, expanded my Professional networking since
exposed
Add a missing verb
being exposed
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 to multiple colleagues and clients.
Moreover
,
gaining
Wrong verb form
I gained
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new experiences from the manager and the employer On how
organise
Add the particle
to organise
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 and handle the organisation properly.
Finally
,I would ask you
about
Change preposition
apply
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some questions related to
time
Add an article
the time
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 of starting work experience and
also
 the kind of tasks that would
requires to do
Wrong verb form
require doing
show examples
 it. and if I have more questions and issues to clarify I will send you an email.
Thanksfull
Correct your spelling
Thanks
 for
this
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opportunity. Faithfully yours.
Submitted by enasawad68 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure could be significantly improved by organizing ideas more effectively and creating clear, distinct paragraphs. Focus on a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure the tone is consistent and appropriate throughout the letter. Consider a more formal and polite tone when addressing the manager and avoid informal expressions.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are not appropriately formal for a letter to a manager. Use 'Dear [Manager's Name]' to start and 'Yours faithfully' or 'Yours sincerely' to close the letter.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or query, ensuring that the letter is easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
The response to the task can be improved by directly addressing all the bullet point and elaborating on them with specific details and examples.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • appreciative
  • hands-on experience
  • skill enhancement
  • networking opportunities
  • mentorship
  • organisational structure
  • company ethos
  • onboarding process
  • professional development
  • collaborative environment
  • shadowing
  • logistics
  • corporate attire
  • reporting hierarchy
  • team dynamics
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