Some people argue that sending criminals to prison is the best method of dealing with them.  However, others believe that education and job training are better way to help them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A large number of
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
in
prison
Use synonyms
to serve their sentences,
while
Linking Words
some
indivudals
Correct your spelling
individuals
think the best way to deal with these
criminals
Use synonyms
is through education and
job
Use synonyms
courses. In my
oponion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, prisons can
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
as a punishment and deterrent and
ensuring
Wrong verb form
ensure
show examples
that
criminals
Use synonyms
are isolated from
society
Use synonyms
but
on the other hand
Linking Words
, education and
job
Use synonyms
training might be useful for
Potential
Correct article usage
the Potential
show examples
for prisons to exacerbate criminal behavior and
Role
Correct article usage
the Role
show examples
of community and support post-release. To start off with, prisons
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
from
society
Use synonyms
since the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
of humanity. Nowadays there are several
criminals
Use synonyms
who
committing
Change the form of the verb
commit
show examples
serious
crimes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as war
crimes
Use synonyms
, murder and rape
who
Correct word choice
and
show examples
people should not interfere. It is most beneficial for
society
Use synonyms
for prisoners who commit
such
Linking Words
crimes
Use synonyms
to remain in
prison
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, punishment and
deterrent
Fix the agreement mistake
deterrents
show examples
can
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
to prevent people from committing
crimes
Use synonyms
by imposing
prison
Use synonyms
sentences lasting many years. To illustrate, A person who is inclined to commit a crime can stop committing a crime knowing that he or she will be locked up for many years.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Some
criminals
Use synonyms
can contribute to
society
Use synonyms
by taking advantage of education and professional skills. To
open
Verb problem
begin
show examples
with,
crimes
Use synonyms
that
criminals
Use synonyms
will commit in the future can be prevented by , training and community serving. As a case in point, By showing them that simple
criminals
Use synonyms
can be reintegrated into
society
Use synonyms
, they can reintegrate them into
society
Use synonyms
in the future.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, support post-release is
quiete
Correct your spelling
quite
important for every kind of
Use synonyms
criminals
Fix the agreement mistake
criminal
show examples
. Having a
job
Use synonyms
and a regular income in
society
Use synonyms
after
Use synonyms
prison
Correct article usage
a prison
show examples
sentence will prevent the criminal from committing
crimes
Use synonyms
again. In my estimation, If imprisonment is inevitable for some
crimes
Use synonyms
, training and
job
Use synonyms
courses will be useful to reintegrate simple
criminals
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as theft, extortion and simple injury into
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by utkankorkmaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You need to build a more coherent essay structure. Begin with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your thesis; follow with body paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence; and end with a conclusion that restates the key points and provides closure.
task achievement
Try to enhance task achievement by providing a complete response to the prompt, ensuring that both views and your own opinion are well-balanced and fully developed. Use relevant, specific examples to solidify your arguments.
lexical resource
Develop your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases. Avoid repetition and try to use synonyms. Precision in language will also help convey your points more effectively.
grammatical range
Work on your grammatical range by including a variety of sentence structures, such as compound and complex sentences. Check for agreement between subjects and verbs, correct use of tenses, and overall sentence structure. Consistency and accuracy in grammar are crucial.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incarceration
  • Deterrent
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Job training
  • Vocational programs
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Criminal justice system
  • Reintegration
  • Correctional facilities
  • Restorative justice
  • Social reformation
  • Penal institution
  • Public safety
  • Community service
  • Criminal behavior
  • Reoffending
  • Support networks
  • Life skills
  • Carceral state
What to do next:
Look at other essays: