IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

the pie charts show the electricity generated in germany and france from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. summarize the information and make comparison.write at least 150 words

the pie charts show the electricity generated in germany and france from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. summarize the information and make comparison.write at least 150 words
#show #electricity #germany #france #sources #renewables #year #information #comparison
These histograms manifest the
Eectricity
Correct your spelling
Electricity
 generated in
Germany
 and
France
. These histograms are divided into 2 parts for each country. One
for
Add a missing verb
is for
show examples
 all types of electricity used in the country and the other is for the renewables used by the people in the
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
. These
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 are extracted from the year 2009 for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries.
Germany
 used 560 billion K Wh
whereas
France
consumes
Wrong verb form
consumed
show examples
 510 billion K Wh
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that year. The
conventioanal
Correct your spelling
conventional
 thermal used by
Germany
 takes 3/4th of the pie chart. The Newclear energy takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place which has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 23.0. The
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 resource used by the citizens is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renewables
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 17.4%. As a whole in
Germany
Add a comma
Germany,
show examples
 conventional thermal played a
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
. When it comes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renewable resources biomass has a growth of 39.3% ,
wind
Add an article
the wind
show examples
 takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place with 36.9% and the least is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solar energy with 6.1%.
France
 had a
tremondous
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 use of nuclear in 2009 for about 76.0%.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
 the conventional source has a 3%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increase compared to
renewable
Correct your spelling
renewables
show examples
. In the next chart of
France
 Hydroelectric power has the majority of 80.5%. The wind and biomass
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 declined compared to
Germany
. The Solar Geoth
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 not used in the course of 2009. In
comparison
Add a comma
comparison,
show examples
 the Electricity generated in
France
 is less
50
Change preposition
than 50
show examples
% than
Germany
Change preposition
in Germany
show examples
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, france with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: