IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#consumption #fish #kinds #meat #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
the graph provides information containing the
consumption
 of fish and some different meats in Europe between 1979 and 2004. Generally speaking, the trend in chicken
consumption
 during the periods increased when beef, lamb and fish
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 a decreased movement. as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
presented, in 1979 people in
europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
show examples
most
Rephrase
were more
show examples
 likely to eat beef
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others,
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
consumption
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 just above 200
grams
 per week for every person. but it
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 to 100
grams
 in 2004.
this
 similar trend
also
 happened in lamb
consumption
, it began
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 150
grams
 per week and went down to 50
grams
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
in contrast
, the chicken
consumption
 rocketed from below 150
grams
 per person per week and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the peak in 2004 with 250
grams
. unlike the others, the
consumption
 of fish in
europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
show examples
 is not as much as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beef, lamb, and chicken and it
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
 stable from the beginning until the end of the period.
Submitted by haloalwan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, grams with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • metric tons
  • fluctuations
  • upward/downward trend
  • stabilize
  • peak
  • trough
  • overtake
  • steady decline/increase
  • sustainable
  • dietary habits
  • preferences
  • health consciousness
  • per capita
  • poultry
  • veal
  • stagnant
  • gradual
  • surpass
What to do next:
Look at other essays: