IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time.

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time.
#line #books #four #months #village #libraries #percentages #type #time
The line graph represents the
number
 of
books
 borrowed in four different
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 in 2014 from four
village
 libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of
books
 by type that were borrowed over
this
 time.
Overall
 the highest borrowed book
number
 was fixed in June by Ryeslip
village
Capitalize word
Village
show examples
 and in September by Sutton Wood
village
Capitalize word
Village
show examples
, they both borrowed around 300
books
. The lowest
number
 of borrowed
books
 was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
June by West Eaton and Church Mount villages.
According to
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
 the most highlighted moment was between July and August were the
number
 of borrowed
books
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dramatically decreased from around 225 to 100 performed by Sutton Wood
village
. After a month the
number
 of taken
books
 grew significantly
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
village
. Church Mount and West Eaton villages showed
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a little increase, between 4 month period the
number
 of borrowed
books
 increased three times. Turning to the pie chart, the most taken type of book is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fiction
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 takes under half of a diagram. History and science
books
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 under
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
third,
sharing
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
percentage. And 19% of villagers were interested in biography
books
. The rest of
small
Correct article usage
the small
show examples
 minority people borrowed self-help type of 
books
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books, village with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: