The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

#two #show #percentages #industry #sectors #contribution #economy #turkey

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The two pie charts display the difference in contribution

Change preposition

apply

show examples

per cent of eight industrial sectors which developed

Change preposition

during

show examples

Turkey's recession in 2000 and 2016. In general, The major

industy

Correct your spelling

industry

Change preposition

show examples

2000 year was Agriculture, but in 2016 Health and Education became the most developing sector,

while

Linking Words

the minor sector of 2000 and 2016 was Construction

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Finance

& Business

Correct your spelling

and business

sectors

raspectively

Correct your spelling

respectively

To begin

Linking Words

with, the most income

Change preposition

from

show examples

Turkey

Change noun form

Turkey's

show examples

government in the 2000s was gained from Agriculture Leisure & Hospitality and Education & Business spheres, as the data which was collected

Change preposition

show examples

2000s

Correct article usage

the 2000s

show examples

year showed 24%, 17% and 17%, sincerely.

On the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

the least significant economic sectors were Construction (5%), Finance & Business (

also

Linking Words

5%) and Manufacturing (8%). By 2016, analyzing the scheme, it

can be

Verb problem

apply

show examples

noticed that agriculture lost 10% of

income

Correct pronoun usage

its income

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Health

& Education

Correct your spelling

and education

become

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

the most wealthy sector, as its output was 17%

Change preposition

show examples

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

economy.

Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on Sun Nov 19 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

154 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the problem?
Water resources protection has become one of the most pressing environmental issues in an increasingly globalised world, especially freshwater. This essay will consider the causes of and suggest possible solutions to it.
4.5
band
In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?
Around the world, an increasing number of people are opting to purchase imported groceries instead of locally produced food. This is happening due to perceived quality, however action could be taken to promote the consumption of local produce by government policies.
4.5
band
Some people believe that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for the country, while others disagree. Do the benefits of hosting a major sporting event outweight the drawbacks?
Some people feel that broadcasting international games benefits to the country's sport. Others argue that hosting international games gave a detrimental effect. In this essay, I will argue that hosting international games should be given benefit to children and local players who can get international experience watching these games.
4
band
There is a notion that says developed countries should avoid encouraging expert workers of developing countries for emigration, because the poorer countries need their professional workers
There is a notion that says developed countries should avoid encouraging expert workers of developing countries for emigration, because the poorer countries need their professional workers. I completely agree with this notion because of reasons like, weakening the poor ones poorer and detrimental effects of these workers.
7
band
Some people believe that the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefit the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
It is undeniable that the actions of international organisations can directly impact the host countries positively and negatively. In this regard, some individuals think that the economy of developing countries can be enhanced by their investments. However, others argue that their activities are harmful in some aspects of those countries. In my opinion, although the overall economy can be developed, their actions can affect those developing countries in negative ways so the local authorities should regulate their actions to a certain extent.

The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the problem?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Some people believe that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for the country, while others disagree. Do the benefits of hosting a major sporting event outweight the drawbacks?

There is a notion that says developed countries should avoid encouraging expert workers of developing countries for emigration, because the poorer countries need their professional workers

Some people believe that the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefit the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion?