Because of many goods that we use in our life produced by foreign countries ought to be distributed over a long distance because of the worldwide economy.

In modern life, many
goods
that we use in our life produced by foreign countries ought to be distributed over a long distance because of the worldwide economy. There are 2 sides of consequences and each of them deserves consideration. In my opinion,
this
statement has more advantages than disadvantages and I will try to embrace it. The demand for
goods
to be transported for
such
long distances can cause some problems,
for example
, some types of foods like fruits and vegetables
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
special care to not rotten and
subsequently
, that kind of foods can reach us in bad condition or it will be very expensive because of special kind of care.
Moreover
, the transportation of
goods
threatens to environment with air, water and soil pollution.
On the other hand
, by transportation of
goods
from far countries we can get various stuff that we can not see in our birthland.
For example
, bananas, kiwi, coconut and many other things like that spread out to many countries only from tiny tropical areas. We can
also
develop humanity in general by just exchanging
goods
,
for example
, in one country one company can make a breakthrough innovation like a company like Apple producing the most popular phone in the world and thanking transportation we all can experience
this
kind of innovation. In conclusion, the advantages of the distribution of
goods
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
such
a long distance are dramatically outweighing the disadvantages because of the valuable experiences for humanity in general.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear and logical structure. Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but transitions between ideas can be improved to enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples. While you provided some examples, expanding on them with more detail would make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Your task response adequately addresses the prompt, but you should develop your ideas further to create a more compelling argument. Mention both sides of the issue to cover the scope more comprehensively.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by fully developing them in each paragraph and ensuring each idea directly relates to the essay prompt.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Your examples could be more detailed and explicitly linked to your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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