employers some times ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. some people say that this information may be relevent and useful. others disagree. discuss about these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, job interviews become a hot topic as the growing number of graduates are seeking ideal vacant positions from potential employers.
However
, some employers tend to require more personal details including hobbies, marriage status, etc. Some human resources professionals explain that it is essential, while
others including applicants themselves disagree. Personally, I support the former claim for a better understanding of candidates.
Proponents claim the detailed personal profile will provide a whole picture of the candidate
, who would be considered thoroughly whether he or she is qualified for the position. Meanwhile, candidate's
personality will be rationalized with the profile as the supporting Correct article usage
the candidate's
information
. Furthermore
, Human
Resource Department can design Correct article usage
the Human
the
training programs which will be aligned with the long-term career development plan.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, opponents are questioning whether it is necessary for candidates to provide their sensitive personal information
. Until now, there is no strong proofs
Fix the agreement mistake
proof
of
employees' capabilities Change preposition
that
influenced
by personalities. Add a missing verb
are influenced
For instance
, whether the candidate
is single or married has nothing to do with work competency. Even
, Rephrase
Sometimes
sometimes
it may cause discrimination when recruiting a female employee who Rephrase
apply
supposed
to take maternity leave in Add a missing verb
is supposed
coming
years. Correct article usage
the coming
In addition
, revealing personal information
will possibly ignite privacy issues as well.
In conclusion, it is not easy for a recruiter to identify the high potential when reading a large amount of resumes and interviewing candidates round after round. A comprehensive candidate
profile will help employer
find Fix the agreement mistake
employers
ideal
Add an article
the ideal
candidate
to fill the vacant positions and work out appropriate employee development strategy
Fix the agreement mistake
strategies
accordingly
. Meanwhile, it is employers'
responsibility to handle the sensitive Correct article usage
the employers'
information
cautiously and avoid any possible bias in processing the recruitment.Submitted by huaixiangdong on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This structure was present, but can be more effectively executed.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing appropriately. You could include more linking words to show the relationship between ideas.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with specific examples. The essay would benefit from more detailed support and illustration.
task achievement
Make sure to address the prompt completely, including discussing both views and giving your own opinion with clear reasons.
coherence cohesion
Provide varied and precise vocabulary. Try to avoid repetition by using synonyms and complex sentence structures.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas. Some points were mentioned but not explained or elaborated on sufficiently.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.