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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #proportion #students #universities #singapore #malaysia #philippines #thailand #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph compares the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of college
students
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, aged between 18 and 25 years old, in
Singapore
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,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and Thailand from 1961 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is true that the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a stable increase during the period shown.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figures from
Singapore
Use synonyms
 and Thailand have changed constantly over the 50-year period. In 1961, Thailand had the highest
percentage
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 of young people who went to university, with almost 25% of the population; despite it fell to nearly 20% after ten years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, figures from
Singapore
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 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 tended to rise:
Singapore
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 had
initially
Linking Words
 15% but doubled the
percentage
Use synonyms
 in the next decade; and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 had the lowest number of people who went to university, with approximately 3% and rose to 10% in 1971.
However
Linking Words
, there remain stable in
Correct article usage
the Philipines
show examples
Philipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
show examples
, with 7% of the
students
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. All these four countries reached their peak in 2011, with their highest
percentage
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 of
students
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.
Malaysia
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 have increased significantly over the period reaching 20% in 2011, and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 have
also
Linking Words
 risen despite remaining steady in the first decade and after 1991 at 15%. In regard to the other two, have increased and decreased over the 50 years, but both achieved their highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2011, with almost 40%.
Submitted by rachel131 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, students, singapore, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • higher education
  • trend
  • contrast
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • plateau
  • governmental policies
  • economic situations
  • cultural attitudes
  • education growth
  • correlation
  • historical events
  • political events
  • projection
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