IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds energy production of France in two years.

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds energy production of France in two years.
#show #comparison #kinds #energy #production #france #two #years
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The pie charts provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 comparison of various types of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 in four different parts, namely nuclear,
Use synonyms
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
, gas, and coal in France between 1995 and 2005. All in all, it is vividly depicted that the proportion of the
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 materials in
petro
Use synonyms
 fell sharply in 1995 and 2005,
while
Linking Words
 the
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 stuffs in coal,
nuchear
Correct your spelling
nuclear
 and gas increased sharply during the period. regarding materials by
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
, the rate of
kinds
Use synonyms
 in
nuchear
Correct your spelling
nuclear
 increased slowly from 6,40% to 10.10% in 1995 and in 2005.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the
kinds
Use synonyms
 in the gas rose steadily from 29,63% to 30,31%,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
, those materials who
kinds
Use synonyms
 in coal increased steadily from 29,80% to 30,31% in the same period. In terms of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
, the
kinds
Use synonyms
 rate of
petro
Use synonyms
 decreased significantly from 29,27% in 1995 to 19,55% in 2005.
However
Linking Words
, those
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
kinds
Use synonyms
 of
petro
Use synonyms
 differentiated numbers
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 10% in the same period.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, production, petro, kinds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "comparison" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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