IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #proportion #students #universities #singapore #malaysia #philippines #thailand #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the proportion of
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 aged 18-25 in four different countries
such
Linking Words
 as
Singapore
Use synonyms
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, Philippines, and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 from 1961 to 2011. Overview, Universities in
Singapore
Use synonyms
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 were more attended by their citizens than citizens in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and the Philippines. In
Singapore
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 was more fluctuating for the given periods rather than the other three. In 1971, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who pursued higher education in
Singapore
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 highly increased by 15% increased. Malaysians who entered
university
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increased by approximately 7%. Meanwhile, both countries were experiencing an upward trend,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 was facing a downward trend which resulted in just over 20% of the youngsters in
Thailand
Use synonyms
 pursuing a degree. In the next ten years, it was noticeable that only
Singapore
Use synonyms
 was experiencing a fall with 5% fewer
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 compared to 1971.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the Younger generations in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, the Philippines, and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 who pursued higher education slightly increased. From the year 1991, young people in
Thailand
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 attended
university
Use synonyms
 grew sharply until 2011 there were over 40% of
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 in
Thailand
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 means that
Thailand
Use synonyms
 was the country with the most
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
. Singaporeans who attended
university
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 escalated slightly and by 2011 there were 40% of their younger generations were in
university
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 was the only country with no
further
Linking Words
 additions to the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 with only 15% from 1991 to 2011.
Submitted by lavenia34808 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words university, students, singapore, malaysia, thailand, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • higher education
  • trend
  • contrast
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • plateau
  • governmental policies
  • economic situations
  • cultural attitudes
  • education growth
  • correlation
  • historical events
  • political events
  • projection
What to do next:
Look at other essays: