IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Climate change is a global problem. Some people think that individuals are not responsible for solving this issue, but governments and large corporations are. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#climate #change #people #individuals #governments #corporations
In recent times, the
world
 population and
nuture
Correct your spelling
nurture
nature
encounter
Wrong verb form
have encountered
show examples
 many issues which are mainly the cause of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate
 change. The majority of humans believe that their single action cannot preserve the
world
 from the upcoming disaster.
This
 essay strongly disagrees with
this
 notion because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings can protect all humanity
via
Change preposition
by
show examples
 reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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waste and using alternative
energy
sources
.
To begin
 with, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people can take a step as recycling in order to decrease the number of pollution in their vicinity which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will help directly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drop
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the level of
climate
 variations in the
world
 . A person can throw the items into the recycling bins for the reproduction.
However
, unfortunately, many prefer to drop down their waste on the streets,
forests
Correct word choice
and forests
show examples
 without
awaring
Correct your spelling
knowing
 the possible dangers. To give an example, a big fire had
began
Change the verb form
begun
show examples
due to
 people's waste in the forest and
admitedly
Correct your spelling
admittedly
,
this
 has a huge effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
climate
.
On the other hand
, an increment
on
Change preposition
in
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 the use of renewable
energy
sources
 by individuals has
an
Change the article
a
show examples
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
 positive effect as a remedy for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate
 change. Every year, the consumption of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fossil fuels as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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energy
 causes
surging
Correct article usage
a surging
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 of the
carbon-dioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
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 level in the atmosphere.
For instance
, a recent study
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Marmara University states that turning to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative
energy
sources
 may influence the global warming degree in a good way and the professors of the university allure all humanity to be
vulnarable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
 in
this
 action .
To sum up
, nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people from all countries and all
governents
Correct your spelling
governments
 have
conserns
Correct your spelling
concerns
 about the variations in the
futures
Fix the agreement mistake
future
show examples
 of
climate
. Some groups argue that they do not have any power to overcome
this
 problem ,
however
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would argue that all of us can
something
Add a missing verb
do something
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and the breathtaking views of the
world
 through changing our habits, including the reproduction of items and using renewable
energy
sources
.
Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on

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task achievement
A clear position throughout the response is moderately maintained. Ensure that your opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay. Stick to a single point of view unless comparing different views, and make sure it is evident in both the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay lacks precise central ideas and may benefit from a stronger thesis statement. Work on crafting clearer topic sentences and ensuring that each paragraph contains one main idea that's thoroughly explained and supported.
task achievement
Instances provided are relevant to the argument, but the examples could be further elaborated to strengthen the argument. Citing studies is beneficial, yet it would be improved by adding statistics or specific findings to substantiate the claims.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is discernible but could be enhanced for better readability. Improve the logical flow of ideas by using cohesive devices and clear transitions between paragraphs and within them.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack impact. Work on making your thesis statement clearer in the introduction and restate your main points more effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are present, yet need more development and linking back to the main argument. Expand on the main points by providing more detailed explanations and seamless connections to the overall thesis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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