Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.
Nowadays, there is an opinion that passion for your
job
is not as much
important as a big salary. Indeed, to my Correct quantifier usage
apply
mind
Add a comma
mind,
this
statement is absolutely wrong.
Firstly
, doing what you like keeps you motivated and therefore
leads to a
career growth. The researchers from Remove the article
apply
Correct article usage
the university
university
of California showed that Capitalize word
University
people
who love their job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
are tend
to be more productive. The main reason for Change the verb form
tend
this
phenomenon is that people
who are actually care
about their Change the verb form
actually care
job
will always do their tasks with joy and will have Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
a
motivation to complete Change the article
the
it
which improves the efficiency of their work leading to Correct pronoun usage
them
the
progress in Correct article usage
apply
Correct pronoun usage
their career
career
. On Fix the agreement mistake
careers
other
hand, Correct article usage
the other
people
who are working only for money would not find any jubilation in their job
, which why
they will often get distracted and bored. Add a missing verb
is why
Subsequently
, this
can lead to Correct article usage
a lose
lose
of efficiency and no progress in their future career.
Replace the word
loss
In addition
, people
who love their job
will be happy and will have better relationships with other people
. Because, people
who are working in their loved jobs will be less stressed, getting a lot of positive emotions from their jobs like the sense of fulfilment and enjoyment. Whereas
, people
who are in their occupation only for money will have a lots
of pressure from their Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
job
, which would affect the mood of the workers, making them angry, anxious and tired all of which may affect their relationships. For example
, if a man came
from a long day of unpleasant work with all of the accumulated anger, he will show Wrong verb form
comes
this
anger to people
who were waiting for him like family which can lead to the
many arguments, affecting the person’s relationships.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the fact that Correct article usage
apply
job
satisfaction is more important than a big salary. That is
way
Correct your spelling
why
people
should consider this
factor as a main in choosing their jobs.Submitted by abdullaevayt on
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coherence cohesion
In the essay, while you made an attempt to structure the introduction, body, and conclusion, the structure could be strengthened with clearer transitions and a more distinct separation between points for improved readability. Focus on paragraphing with one central idea per paragraph, and utilize clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You made an effort to address the prompt directly, and you provided an opinion with supporting reasons. However, examples could be further detailed, and a more varied range of sentence structures could enhance the complexity of your ideas. Additionally, ensure that you fully develop each point and avoid broad generalizations without sufficient evidence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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