The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates several number
changed
Wrong verb form
changes
show examples
for the people that born in Australia and other countries and
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
in urban, rural and
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
in 1995 and 2010. It is obvious that
living
Correct pronoun usage
those living
show examples
in the cities had the highest percentage in both years, and
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
in foreign countries and lived in rural areas and towns decreased in 2010,
however
Linking Words
, the former was more dramatic.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the ratio of people who lived in the cities and who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
outside and in Australia
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
60 and 50% respectively in 1995, the former remained constant and the latter slightly dropped to 50% after 15 years.
Secondly
Linking Words
, those who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
outside of Australia and lived in rural areas took 40% of the society in 1995,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, it lowered to one-fourth of the percentage which became less than 10% 15 years ago.
In addition
Linking Words
, the ratio diminished mildly from about 18% to 10%.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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