A high salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Many employees have their own
reason
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reasons
show examples
why they go to
work
. Yet, the issue
on
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of
show examples
whether a high
salary
can drive
people
to
work
has been exposed recently
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
some voices are
also
vocal about
job
satisfaction.
However
, I personally disagree with
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
satisfaction idea
due to
the argument that basically
people
earn money to fulfil financial needs and personal motivation. First of all, a high
salary
is the determining reason before someone
finally
decides to apply for a
job
in a company. Even though it may sound materialistic,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
basic needs can only be paid
with
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for with
show examples
earnings.
For instance
, the necessity of a family
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
of 3
people
absolutely requires more financial support from
head
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the head
show examples
of the family,
therefore
instead
of applying for a
job
with
sole
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the sole
show examples
purpose of working, it is more rational
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
counting every dollar
matter
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matters
show examples
. There are many more
example
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examples
show examples
since each individual may have
different
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a different
show examples
background, yet it will not lessen the importance of
salary
.
Secondly
, a high
salary
motivates high-achiever type of workers to
work
harder.
Although
certain big companies are known for massive
workload
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workloads
show examples
,
yet
Rephrase
apply
show examples
for some
people
it can be considered as a challenge.
For example
, firms which provide service as
its
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their
show examples
main business
such
as consulting firms or law firms, the workloads are known to be uncountable, but many workers with specified expertise still
work
there because they pay their
times
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time
show examples
well,
besides
the
job
is not stagnant. To summarize, a high
salary
plays a major role in determining
people
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people's
show examples
decision to choose or stay in
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
. That being said, I wholeheartedly support the discussion on the presence of a high
salary
is important.
Submitted by imsarunn on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion. Both were present, but could be strengthened.
supported main points
Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and subsequent explanations or examples. While points were made, the development was not always effectively supporting the main idea.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within it clearly relate to that topic.
complete response
Your essay should directly address the question, ensuring you provide a balanced view if necessary before explaining your position. Make sure to address both parts of the prompt about salary and job satisfaction. While both aspects were mentioned, further development is necessary.
clear comprehensive ideas
Provide a clear and thorough explanation of your ideas, rather than making general statements without much support or elaboration.
relevant specific examples
Support your points with specifically relevant examples. While you have included some examples, they can be further detailed to better illustrate your arguments.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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