Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security to their families. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered
In our modern society, it is
alwaysa
argued that for Correct your spelling
always
always a
better
Correct article usage
a better
life
of
Change preposition
for
them
and their Correct pronoun usage
themselves
families
employees should pay attention Add a comma
families,
on
Change preposition
to
economic
benefits earned from their work. To examine Correct article usage
the economic
this
point of view, this
essay will examine this
question, and give my way of understanding this
issue and which aspects should ne
noticed by employees before choosing their jobs.
It is Correct your spelling
be
immedeately
noticeable, that Correct your spelling
immediately
a
factor of income is the most common issue Correct article usage
apply
while
people plan their career path. Correct word choice
when
For example
,almost all students Add a missing verb
are interest
interest
Replace the word
interested
their
career possibilities at an early period of their study and can change their opinion several times. Incomes play a fundamental role in people`s Change preposition
in their
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For instance
, they
can do some activities or travel all over the world several times Correct pronoun usage
some
in
a year Change preposition
apply
while
other
can not afford some types of activities. Fix the agreement mistake
others
Moreover
, family security and more
caring Correct article usage
the more
life
of members also
depend on money
factor. Especially, if the families have children ,the parents should provide them with nice education, food, comfortable Add an article
the money
accomodation
, Correct your spelling
accommodation
chothes
,some Correct your spelling
clothes
medicaments
so forth. Fix the agreement mistake
medicament
In addition
, money
factor makes society`s Correct article usage
the money
life
easier, full of positive exsperience
and comfort, which Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
life
standart
. If people can Correct your spelling
standards
earned
more benefits they can Change the verb form
earn
arcieve
Correct your spelling
receive
achieve
a
financial stability ,Remove the article
apply
and
change their lifestyle, and develop their professional skills.
Correct word choice
apply
On the other hand
, there are several different factors for planning their future job plans. Environment
in Add an article
The environment
work
studio is one of the Correct article usage
the work
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
part
of Change to a plural noun
parts
tandem
. If the work environment Add an article
a tandem
have
a Change the verb form
has
directly
influence in a
effective organization system in the companies. Change the adverb
direct
Furthermore
, workers must be provedid
Correct your spelling
provided
by
safety and health Change preposition
with
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
in
a high level. Some jobs Change preposition
at
such
as expluitation
, building and others have risks.
Correct your spelling
exploitation
To sum up
, financial
aspect is significant for job satisfaction and Add an article
the financial
financial
stability of society and their family members. Correct article usage
the financial
However
, there are some Correct your spelling
other
ther
factors which affect job planningCorrect word choice
apply
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on
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structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Introduce the topic, present arguments and relevant examples in the body, and provide a summary and your own opinion in the conclusion.
cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Use cohesive devices such as linking words to help the reader follow your argument.
paragraphing
Use paragraphs effectively, each one should contain one main idea and be clearly separated from the others.
task response
Stay on topic and ensure that all parts of the task are addressed. The essay should fully cover the prompt without drifting into irrelevant areas.
development and support
Offer clear, comprehensive ideas, supported by relevant examples. Make sure each argument you present is well-explained and supported by specific evidence or reasoning.
grammar
Correct and avoid grammatical errors, maintain consistent tense usage, and employ a variety of sentence structures.
spelling
Avoid spelling mistakes and typos, proofread your work before submission.
content development
Expand on given ideas and ensure the conclusion is consistent with the points made throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.