IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently went to the cinema and think that you left something that belongs to you there. Write a letter to the cinema manager. In your letter say when you were at the cinema and which film you saw describe what item you have lost and where you think you left it tell the manager what you want him/her to do

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Dear Cinema Manager, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 to complain in regard to my personal belongings that I lost
while
Linking Words
 watching the movie in your well-known
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
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. Yesterday,I and my friends booked
second
Correct article usage
a second
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 show
tickets
Fix the agreement mistake
ticket
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for the Bahuballi movie in your hall .Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 we are huge fans of actor Prabhas we planned to book B2,B3,and B4 seats which are a little close to the screen .After watching the movie I left the Hall with great joy and reached my home safely .Before going to bed I noticed that my
phone
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 missing ,I immediately rushed to
nearby
Add an article
the nearby
a nearby
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 police station to file a complaint about my missing
phone
Use synonyms
. As we sat near the screen ,I believed the
phone
Use synonyms
 might be somewhere in between the seats and the screen.I would request you to enquire if the sanitary department has found any
phone
Use synonyms
 .If not, it might be robbed by someone in the crowd ,please kindly cooperate with the police investigation . Sincerely, Vikram Kallem.

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coherence cohesion
The letter lacks clear paragraphing, and the ideas are not logically sequenced. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that they follow in a logical order to enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The greeting lacks a personalized touch, and the closing could be more formal. Consider customizing the greeting, for instance, using 'Dear Mr./Mrs. [Last Name]'. Ensure the closing is aligned with the formal tone of the letter, such as 'Yours faithfully,' if you did not use the recipient's name, or 'Yours sincerely,' if you did.
task achievement
The letter addresses the three bulleted tasks but lacks sufficient development in explaining the situation and the request to the cinema manager. Expand on the circumstances and describe the lost item in more detail to fully accomplish the task.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is somewhat informal and not entirely appropriate for a letter to a cinema manager. Maintain a polite and formal tone throughout and avoid expressions that might be too casual or conversational for the context.
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