IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

3)The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year.

3)The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year.
#two #show #world #energy #consumption #electricity #generation #year
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The two pie charts
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
show examples
complete
Correct article usage
the complete
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wrodl
Correct your spelling
world
energy
Use synonyms
 demand,
moreover
Linking Words
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
show examples
 generation for use
last
Linking Words
 year. To start with, it's immediately
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that in the
last
Linking Words
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 the usage
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 was one-third of
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
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energy
Use synonyms
 cost. After that Gas and Coal
production
Use synonyms
 and intake were
totally
Rephrase
apply
show examples
20.9% and 25.1%.
Compired
Correct your spelling
Compared
 with
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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combustible renewables and waste
energy
Use synonyms
 was
old-fashioned
Add an article
an old-fashioned
show examples
 style of it(10.6%).
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 there were some uptake energies
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
under 10%.
However
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 cost for nuclear
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 6.5% looking at others.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 Hydro and Other
use
Fix the agreement mistake
uses
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 of
energy
Use synonyms
 were
steadly
Correct your spelling
steady
steadily
 2.2% and 0.4%.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
Correct article usage
the relatively
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relatively
Change the word
relative
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production
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 for coal was
approxiametly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 40%.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
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 half of the chart
were
Change the verb form
was
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 dominated by Hydro, Nuclear, Gas
subsequently
Linking Words
 16.1%, 15.7% and 19.6%. Making
energy
Use synonyms
 from oil was less popular(6.7%) and at
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 end 2.1% for the other
energy
Use synonyms
 generation. From an
Linking Words
Overall
Fix capitalization
overall
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 perspective, consuming 2 charts oil usage and
production
Use synonyms
 dramatically differ,
while
Linking Words
 the other
production
Use synonyms
quite
Add a missing verb
is quite
show examples
 enough for
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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