Climate change is one of the biggest environmental problems of the 21st century. Some people think that humans should stop using oil, gas and coal and switch to alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others claim that fossil fuels are essential for many industries, and not using them will result in economic recession.

It is a general opinion that the cause of natural pollution is
the a
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the
a
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result of using oil, gas and coal. Others believe that these materials are of great benefit to many co-operations and
a
Correct word choice
that a
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withdrawal will cause an economic recession. The use of these elements
have
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has
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been used to make the lives of humans easier. it is being used to produce things like
electricty
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electricity
, cars, and computers and these things have allowed for an easier pattern of life all over the world.
For
example
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example,
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an aeroplane is a fast method for moving
form
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from
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one place to the other, before now people spend days or
month
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months
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travelling to see families or for a business transaction.
However
, using natural sources of energy
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can bring about minimal damage to the environment. They are
cost effective
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cost-effective
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and can be produced with
cost effective
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cost-effective
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materials. that can be easily bought without wind turbines
for example
are used to create electricity, they do not
craete
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create
a waste products
Correct the article-noun agreement
waste products
a waste product
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and can be used for
thousand
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thousands
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of years without minimum
maintainance
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maintenance
. in
conclusion
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conclusion,
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fossil
fuel
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fuels
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have brought about the improvement of our lives as humans. using
other source
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another source
other sources
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of
energies
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energy
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would cause lesser pollution and can be used for
may
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many
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years with minimal damage. in my opinion, fossil fuels can be used only when strictly necessary, but other energy should be
use
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used
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for
majority
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the majority
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of the time as these sources can do the same work with little
Correct your spelling
pollution
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
Submitted by suleezekielo on

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coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion that appropriately frame your essay. Both should be clear and relate to the essay prompt directly. Your conclusion needs to summarize the main points without introducing new arguments.
coherence cohesion
Support each of your main points with concrete examples, evidence, or explanation. Your points currently lack depth and detail which makes them less convincing. Refrain from making generalizations without backing them up.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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