IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the diagrams below show the changes that has taken place in a village park

the diagrams below show the changes that has taken place in a village park
The pictures
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the changes which have taken in a
village
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 within 10 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
village
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 witnessed
a remarkable changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
remarkable changes
a remarkable change
show examples
 and became much more modern.
However
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 location of the buildings
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as 10 years ago. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 entrance of the
village
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 in the same position , but around
Use synonyms
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 a path for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cycling has been constructed.
In addition
Linking Words
, the tennis court
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 experienced
double
Add an article
a double
show examples
 increase in it is courts.The football pitch and car
park
Use synonyms
 have been expanded, particularly the car
park
Use synonyms
 now can accommodate up
50
Change preposition
to 50
show examples
 cars
instead
Linking Words
 of 20.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the woods have been knocked down and replaced with new facilities
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 the toilet and cafe. The
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 play area
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 expanded and it has been divided into two areas
such
Linking Words
 as a
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 play area and
Correct article usage
a children
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 soft play area.
Finally
Linking Words
, a pond has been developed as the boating place and a
total
Change the word
totally
show examples
 new picnic zone built.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words village, park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: