IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart shows the number of tourists visiting Country X from various parts of the world and the table displays the income of different businesses in the nation in 2007 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart shows the number of tourists visiting Country X from various parts of the world and the table displays the income of different businesses in the nation in 2007 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #tourists #country #x #parts #world #displays #income #businesses #nation #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The first picture provides information about the
number
 of citizens visiting
country
X
 from different parts of the nation from 2007 to 2008 and the second pictures show the annual
income
 of average businesses in
country
X
 between 2019 and 2020.
Overall
, it can be seen that there was an
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
number
 of foreign tourists from China and Japan over the period. Meanwhile,
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 and
resort
Fix the agreement mistake
resorts
show examples
 experienced high
income
 in the
tourism
 industry. First and foremost,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors from China and Japan were the highest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourism
 in
country
X
 and it began at 3,000 in 2007 and fell dramatically to 2,000 in 2008.
Moreover
,
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the period the
number
 of
citizen
Change to a plural noun
citizens
show examples
 from Australia visiting
country
X
accountend
Correct your spelling
accounted
 at around 2,500
while
 in 2008 saw
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly
Change the word
slight
show examples
 fall to under than the
last
 year.
Whereas
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Europe had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similarity
Replace the word
similar
show examples
number
 of
visitours
Correct your spelling
visitors
show examples
 from
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and Canada stood at approximately 2,000 but dropped to below 1,000 in 2008.
On the other hand
, there was a large
income
 in
country
X
 from the hotel and
tourism
 industry by 3.5 million
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 the other sectors in 2019.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in 2020, the monthly
income
 for
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
tourism
 industry
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased to under 1.1 million,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 for
transportasi
Correct your spelling
transportation
 and travel agents at approximately 0.4 million.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, country, x, income, tourism with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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