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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

he line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time.

he line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time.
#line #books #four #months #village #libraries #percentages #type #time
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The line graph illustrates the number of
books
Use synonyms
 that were rented between June and September
in
Change preposition
apply
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2014 from four village
libraries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart gives data on the percentage, by genre, in
four-month
Add an article
a four-month
the four-month
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 period. Generally,
Correct article usage
the numer
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numer
Correct your spelling
number
 of borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 fluctuated during
this
Linking Words
 time and fiction was more popular than the other types. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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presented, the highest number of borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 was 300, from Ryeslip in June
,
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 2014. With 250 rents, Sutton Wood
library
Capitalize word
Library
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 stood as the second highest lender at that time. West Eaton and Church Mount
libraries
Use synonyms
 gave 50
books
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 in June. Ryeslip
Use synonyms
libraries
Change noun form
library's
libraries'
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 number of borrowed
books
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 gradually decreased
by
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over
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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time and reached
to
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apply
show examples
150. Sutton Wood,
on the contrary
Linking Words
 ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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went higher to make it almost double than the other three
libraries
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. Over the months, the
books
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 borrowed from West Eaton and Church Mount increased to having a similar index, which equals
to
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apply
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150 in September. Fiction type of
books
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were
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was
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 the most borrowed genre, more than 40%.
Borrowing
Correct article usage
The borrowing
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 ratio for history and science
books
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 accounted for 14% each and that was 5% lower than that of biology
books
Use synonyms
. Self-help
books
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’ borrowing ratio was exactly 10% which indicated one in ten
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed had
this
Linking Words
 genre.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, libraries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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