The natural resources, such as oil, forests, and fresh water, are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems?

It cannot be denied that the advancement of science has brought solutions to numerous challenging problems, both major and minor ones, in our everyday
life
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lives
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, which leads some to believe that technology will
also
eventually tackle the dire
shortage
of natural
resources
we are about to face.
However
,
such
an opinion needs to be scrutinized meticulously before a conclusion can be reached. First and foremost, the fast consumption and resulting
shortage
of natural
resources
has a severely negative impact on the
life
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lives
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of people: for those in developed regions of the world, tons of time and
resources
at both the governmental and individual
level
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levels
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have to be poured into the expensive collection, purchasing, processing and distribution of
resources
, causing a significant drop in people’s purchasing power and quality of
life
; for those in the less developed parts of the world, with no financial power for procuring
resources
(occupied by the rich or sold to powerful nations), citizens might even have to face death
due to
the
shortage
of key
resources
such
as clean water, causing a fierce competition for natural
resources
, civil unrest, and even war. In the end, regardless of where he or she is on
this
planet, no one can escape. Some might claim that technology is the panacea, as it
helped
Wrong verb form
helps
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us find and exploit various new forms of
resources
. Ironically, the direction in which our technological advancement is heading has already been diverted by the fast consumption and
shortage
of natural
resources
to
remedying
Wrong verb form
remedy problems
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instead
of resolving problems.
For instance
, in the United States, the biggest economy
of
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in
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the world, tons of
resources
and elite personnel that could have been devoted to expanding the boundary of mankind in space and deep-sea exploration now have to be allocated to the research of reducing the cost of extracting oil, forming a vicious cycle. In the end, it is a conglomeration of individual effort, governmental regulation, and technological
breakthrough
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breakthroughs
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that would ultimately overcome the problems brought by the
shortage
of natural
resources
. At the personal level, citizens ought to counter the influence of materialism and consumerism in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society, purchasing and using only what they truly need; at the governmental level, a deep sense of frugality has to be planted in education, penalties issued to both individuals and organizations that waste
resources
, and financial incentives given to those who are at the forefront of the exploration of new and cleaner forms of natural
resources
– it is only through
such
a synergy that we will eventually develop an effective and sustainable way of
life
for our civilization.
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
The essay mostly addresses the prompt, but it could improve in task achievement by directly addressing the second part of the question (solutions) throughout, rather than just at the end. To improve, make sure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, with clear topic sentences and subsequent support.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-renewable resources
  • economic instability
  • water shortages
  • agricultural production
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • global warming
  • sustainable management
  • conservation
  • alternative energy
  • afforestation
  • reforestation
  • water conservation
  • responsible consumption
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