The natural resources, such as oil, forests, and fresh water, are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It cannot be denied that the advancement of science has brought solutions to numerous challenging problems, both major and minor ones, in our everyday
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, which leads some to believe that technology will
also
eventually tackle the dire
shortage
of natural
resources
we are about to face.
However
,
such
an opinion needs to be scrutinized meticulously before a conclusion can be reached. First and foremost, the fast consumption and resulting
shortage
of natural
resources
has a severely negative impact on the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
of people: for those in developed regions of the world, tons of time and
resources
at both the governmental and individual
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
have to be poured into the expensive collection, purchasing, processing and distribution of
resources
, causing a significant drop in people’s purchasing power and quality of
life
; for those in the less developed parts of the world, with no financial power for procuring
resources
(occupied by the rich or sold to powerful nations), citizens might even have to face death
due to
the
shortage
of key
resources
such
as clean water, causing a fierce competition for natural
resources
, civil unrest, and even war. In the end, regardless of where he or she is on
this
planet, no one can escape. Some might claim that technology is the panacea, as it
helped
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
us find and exploit various new forms of
resources
. Ironically, the direction in which our technological advancement is heading has already been diverted by the fast consumption and
shortage
of natural
resources
to
remedying
Wrong verb form
remedy problems
show examples
instead
of resolving problems.
For instance
, in the United States, the biggest economy
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the world, tons of
resources
and elite personnel that could have been devoted to expanding the boundary of mankind in space and deep-sea exploration now have to be allocated to the research of reducing the cost of extracting oil, forming a vicious cycle. In the end, it is a conglomeration of individual effort, governmental regulation, and technological
breakthrough
Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs
show examples
that would ultimately overcome the problems brought by the
shortage
of natural
resources
. At the personal level, citizens ought to counter the influence of materialism and consumerism in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society, purchasing and using only what they truly need; at the governmental level, a deep sense of frugality has to be planted in education, penalties issued to both individuals and organizations that waste
resources
, and financial incentives given to those who are at the forefront of the exploration of new and cleaner forms of natural
resources
– it is only through
such
a synergy that we will eventually develop an effective and sustainable way of
life
for our civilization.
Submitted by yuanchenlcharles on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is positive. Yet, the coherence of the essay is impacted by some long, complex sentences that could be clearer and more direct. Division into shorter sentences and paragraphs would enhance readability and logical flow.
task achievement
The essay mostly addresses the prompt, but it could improve in task achievement by directly addressing the second part of the question (solutions) throughout, rather than just at the end. To improve, make sure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, with clear topic sentences and subsequent support.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-renewable resources
  • economic instability
  • water shortages
  • agricultural production
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • global warming
  • sustainable management
  • conservation
  • alternative energy
  • afforestation
  • reforestation
  • water conservation
  • responsible consumption
What to do next:
Look at other essays: