The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie chart illustrates the

percentage

of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.

This

essay will demonstrate the information by selecting and reporting the main features and

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

comparisions

Correct your spelling

comparisons

Overall

, the working and sleeping remains largest compared to others. Working adults don't focus more on playing and other sports activities.

Burt

Correct your spelling

But

show examples

the relaxation for a person is more important they remains 8% of sleeping.

Furthermore

, they

take

Wrong verb form

took

show examples

very

less

Correct word choice

little

show examples

time to travel for work

Change preposition

show examples

1958. The pie chart

llustrates

Correct your spelling

illustrates

working

Correct article usage

the working

show examples

percentage

of an adult

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

more than the sleeping amount in 2008. working

percentage

holds 42% , and sleeping

percentage

has 25%. the adults

holds

Change the verb form

hold

show examples

only 6% of travelling for work

percentage

. Travel to work, playing and other sports activities, working, relaxing at home,

these

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are the aspects that

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

increased drastically. There was an extraordinary reduction in

sleeping

Correct article usage

the sleeping

show examples

activity of an adult compared to the data given

Change preposition

show examples

1958.

Submitted by insighttribez on Thu Nov 30 2023

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.

The efficientfunctioning o f society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?