The diagram below shows various stages involved in the production of beer.

The diagram below shows various stages involved in the production of beer.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The diagram below shows various stages involved in the production of beer.
The illustration presents an overview of the key stages involved in the manufacturing of beer from three main steps namely processing, packaging and delivering Looking from an
overall
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perspective, it is evident that there are nine stages in the production of beer, starting with the milling of malted barley and culminating with the delivery of beers to customers. The whole
process
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of beer starts when the malted barley has been milled in order to be broken down into small pieces.
After
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this
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particular
stage
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has finished, the ingredients have been mashed with the supplement of water. Once
this
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particular
stage
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in the manufacturing
process
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has been completed, it is
then
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followed by being lautered, a
process
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which results in spent grain animal feed. It Is at
this
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particular point that the ingredients are put into high-temperature water with the addition of sugar and hops.
After
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this
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particular
stage
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has finished, it is moved into a whirlpool. Once the
ingredient adding
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ingredient-adding
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yeast is fermented and emits Co2
as well as
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weeds out yeast, it undergoes
a
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apply
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manufacturing.
Subsequently
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, a penultimate
stage
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in which filtering is carried out. It
then
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leads to the final
stage
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of the
process
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where the ingredients have been packed in the form of either bottles or cans before being delivered to the market.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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