The chart below show the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008.

#show #percentage #adults #activities #country

The different percentages of people's daily activity in a particular country in 1958 and 2008 are shown in the pie graph below. The huge difference in percentages of activity is seen in the category of working. The amount

time

of working hours per day increased by 9

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

from 33

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

to 42

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

likewise

Add a comma

likewise,

show examples

the percentage of

time

spent travelling to work rose from 2

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

in 1958 to 8

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

in 2008.

Also

, the

time

of sleeping was decreased from 32

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

to 25

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

Similarly

, the huge difference is shown in the going out category which had 19

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

and in 2008

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

only 6

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

. The other category didn't change and has 6

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

Then

, the percentage of relaxing at home increased from 8

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

in 1958 to 13

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

in 2008.

To conclude

, as statistic shows us, the daily routine of people from 2008 consisted of more working hours and having a rest after work, but in spite of increased

time

spent at home people slept fewer hours.

Submitted by ushak.2004.80 on Thu Nov 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, percents with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

173 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
technological advancements
leisure activities
household chores
gender roles
modern lifestyle
fast food trends
sleep patterns
health and well-being
societal impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars
It is thought by many people that car ownership has risen significantly over the past three decades and cities have been occupied by traffic. I think it is fair enough to mention that amount of people owning cars has increased simply because cars become more affordable to buy. I can provide a few solutions for reducing car use.
<4
band
Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement??
Different strokes for different folks. Youth upbringing plays a vital role in the community.a majority of society consider that pupils need to be provided with information regarding how to be supportive guardians in the time to come. However, I completely agree along the statement not only because of family values but beside that prepared for the future as well as positive attitudes towards the infants. Furthermore, this essay will explore these ideas briefly.
5.5
band
Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this contemporary era, pollution is at the top of the list of dilemmas of the globe. Some representatives of society believe that this is due to the rise in personal vehicles while others think that factories are the main cause of pollution. This essay will shed light on both statements and in the end, will give a valid opinion.
6.5
band
How should we ensure that television is a positive influence in the life of children?
Nowadays, TVs are installed in every house, and these appliances broadcast information almost every time. Some people worry that the existence of TV will create more disadvantages than advantages for children. In order to guarantee children will obtain good impacts only, parents should do a few things that will be discussed in the following paragraph.
8
band
Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual people to address. We have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment to address it at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
When it comes to environmental problems, and protecting it, the issue of deciding whether each country should take action on their own or the problem should be addressed at an international level remains unsolved. From my point of view, I support the latter opinion.

The chart below show the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars

Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement??

Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

How should we ensure that television is a positive influence in the life of children?

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual people to address. We have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment to address it at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?