The chart below show the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008.

#show #percentage #adults #activities #country

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The different percentages of people's daily activity in a particular country in 1958 and 2008 are shown in the pie graph below. The huge difference in percentages of activity is seen in the category of working. The amount

time

Use synonyms

of working hours per day increased by 9

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percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

from 33

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percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

to 42

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percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

Linking Words

likewise

Add a comma

likewise,

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the percentage of

time

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spent travelling to work rose from 2

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percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

in 1958 to 8

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percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

in 2008.

Also

Linking Words

, the

time

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of sleeping was decreased from 32

Use synonyms

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

to 25

Use synonyms

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

Similarly

Linking Words

, the huge difference is shown in the going out category which had 19

Use synonyms

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

and in 2008

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

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only 6

Use synonyms

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

. The other category didn't change and has 6

Use synonyms

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

Then

Linking Words

, the percentage of relaxing at home increased from 8

Use synonyms

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

in 1958 to 13

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percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

in 2008.

To conclude

Linking Words

, as statistic shows us, the daily routine of people from 2008 consisted of more working hours and having a rest after work, but in spite of increased

time

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spent at home people slept fewer hours.

Submitted by ushak.2004.80 on Thu Nov 30 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, percents with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

173 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
technological advancements
leisure activities
household chores
gender roles
modern lifestyle
fast food trends
sleep patterns
health and well-being
societal impact

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The chart below show the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that using a bicycle as main from of transportation has a lot of advantages, whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your Opinion about this?