IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #home #tasks #pet #house #second #amount #time #gender #summarise #information #features #comparisons
Given are two bar charts depicting the proportion and the average times of
women
 and men involved in some kind of house tasks which are cooking, cleaning, pet care and house repairs. It is clear from the charts that the share of
women
 are engaged in cooking and cleaning and the
time
 they spend in these is
also
 higher than the men’s. As per the chart, over 80% of
women
 are involved in cooking, which is more than 20%
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
 men’s involvement. The
time
 they spend in
this
 is
also
 almost equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
participation
 rate (Over 80
minutes
 when compared to 60
minutes
). In cleaning
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 too,
females
beats
Change the verb form
beat
show examples
 males, both in
participation
 and in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
. When over 60% of
women
 do
this
 work, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of men, it is 20% less.
Similarly
, when an average of 70
minutes
 is spent on
this
 activity by
females
, only 50
minutes
 are spent by men each day. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of pet care, both genders have very similar
participation
, and the
time
 they
involve
Wrong verb form
are involved
show examples
 in
this
 activity is almost equal (20% and 20
minutes
 respectively).
However
, male
participation
 is almost double
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that of
females
 (around 10%) in house repairs and the duration they spend on it is almost thrice more than that of
females
 (approximately 5
minutes
).
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, time, participation, minutes, females with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: