The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

#first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #home #tasks #pet #house #second #amount #time #gender #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The data given presenting two different bar charts respectively inform the percentage of

males

and

females

particular

Add an article

a particular

show examples

country who do chores (cooking, cleaning,

pet

care, and house repairs) and the average

time

women

and

men

minutes

per day for each different

task

Overall

, both charts present the information that

women

dominate the

task

and

spending

Replace the word

spend

show examples

time

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cooking and cleaning the house

while

men

are into

hourse

Correct your spelling

house

horse

hours

repairs over

women

Besides

males

and

females

share the same amount of proportion and average

time

for

pet

caring. In regard to the percentage of housework,

females

show domination over

males

in cooking and cleaning at 80

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

, and 60

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

, respectively.

While

the two

sharing

Replace the word

show examples

fair

task

pet

caring as 20

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

men

spents

Correct your spelling

spend

more proportion in

hourse

Correct your spelling

house

hours

repairs over

women

at 20

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

. Domination over

men

to clean and cook by

women

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

automatically contributed more

time

to those

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

at roughly 85

minutes

, and 65

minutes

respectively.

Whereas

men

spending

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

repairing

house

Correct article usage

the house

show examples

at 20

minutes

each day,

males

and

females

kept

Verb problem

spent

show examples

the same 20

minutes

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a day

to do

Change the verb form

doing

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

pet

care.

Submitted by pedrothedawn on Sat Dec 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, pet, time, women, men, minutes, task, percent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

189 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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