IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data given presenting two different bar charts respectively inform the percentage of
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 country who do chores (cooking, cleaning,
pet
Use synonyms
 care, and house repairs) and the average
time
Use synonyms
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 in
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day for each different
task
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, both charts present the information that
women
Use synonyms
 dominate the
task
Use synonyms
 and
spending
Replace the word
spend
show examples
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cooking and cleaning the house
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 are into
hourse
Correct your spelling
house
horse
hours
 repairs over
women
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
,
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 share the same amount of proportion and average
time
Use synonyms
 for
pet
Use synonyms
 caring. In regard to the percentage of housework,
females
Use synonyms
 show domination over
males
Use synonyms
 in cooking and cleaning at 80
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively.
While
Linking Words
 the two
sharing
Replace the word
share
show examples
 fair
task
Use synonyms
 to
pet
Use synonyms
 caring as 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
men
Use synonyms
spents
Correct your spelling
spend
 more proportion in
hourse
Correct your spelling
house
hours
 repairs over
women
Use synonyms
 at 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Domination over
men
Use synonyms
 to clean and cook by
women
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
automatically contributed more
time
Use synonyms
 to those
Use synonyms
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 at roughly 85
minutes
Use synonyms
, and 65
minutes
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 more
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
repairing
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 at 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 each day,
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
kept
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 the same 20
minutes
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pet
Use synonyms
 care.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, pet, time, women, men, minutes, task, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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