In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?
Owing to the economic crisis, nowadays, many
people
tend to do more than one job in
all over the world. There is Change preposition
apply
a
legislation that shortlisting must not be influenced by candidates's Correct article usage
apply
age
in some countries. This
is a positive development
since person's
rights cannot mitigated by Correct article usage
a person's
age
. This
essay will discuss how this
phenominan
can get as a positive Correct your spelling
phenomenon
phenomena
development
.
Firstly
, person's
goals cannot be covered by Correct article usage
a person's
age
and againg
is a natural flow that every Correct your spelling
again
ageing
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
are
supposed to Correct subject-verb agreement
is
faced
. Change the verb
face
Furthermore
, Age
is just a number and some people
can work
hard
in their middle Rephrase
harder
age
rather
than some Rephrase
apply
youngersts
. Correct your spelling
younger
For example
, a study shows that 55% of elderly people
are more into doing career because of their financil
background and Correct your spelling
financial
also
they
have Correct word choice
because they
energy
and physical balance to do Correct article usage
the energy
work
. Hence
, it can be said that age
cannot limit people
's achievements.
Secondly
, most of
Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the underprivillaged
underprivillaged
countries have Correct your spelling
underprivileged
economic
Add an article
an economic
crisis
and most Fix the agreement mistake
crises
people
are supposed to do more than one job to overcome their poor life syles
. Correct your spelling
styles
For instance
, recent research depicts that 67% of masses
have to do what kind of career to earn money by Correct article usage
the masses
ignorying
their Correct your spelling
ignoring
age
as well. Therfore
, it is good to have Correct your spelling
Therefore
such
kind of law in a particular country.
In conclusion, there is a stringent law that can be applied for person's
Correct article usage
a person's
age
is
not a ban for a job. Unnecessary verb
apply
This
is a positive development
due to
age
is just a number and he or she can work
it is acceptable for all kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
work
environment
. It is recommended thatFix the agreement mistake
environments
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
law can be applied in all countries in the world and before implementing a
legislation, it should be carry out a thorough analysis Remove the article
apply
about
its Change preposition
of
potentional
impact not only Correct your spelling
potential
society
but Change preposition
on society
also
personal
Change preposition
on personal
development
as well.Submitted by nadee.document on
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task achievement
Your essay somewhat addresses the prompt, but a more nuanced discussion of the negative and positive aspects would enhance the completeness of your response. Aim to provide a balanced view when the question asks for discussion on both sides.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow throughout the essay. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and ensure each sentence supports the main idea. The connection between points could be made clearer to improve the coherence.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples. General statements are less convincing without concrete evidence. Use studies, statistics, or real-life examples to back up your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Be attentive to grammatical accuracy and use of vocabulary. Errors with word choice and sentence structure can affect clarity and coherence. Regular practice and review of grammar rules will be beneficial.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?