In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

#countries #employers #someone #job #age #development

Owing to the economic crisis, nowadays, many

people

tend to do more than one job

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apply

show examples

all over the world. There is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

legislation that shortlisting must not be influenced by candidates's

age

in some countries.

This

is a positive

development

since

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

show examples

rights cannot mitigated by

age

This

essay will discuss how

this

phenominan

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

phenomena

can get as a positive

development

Firstly

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

show examples

goals cannot be covered by

age

and

againg

Correct your spelling

again

ageing

is a natural flow that every

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

supposed to

faced

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face

show examples

Furthermore

Age

is just a number and some

people

can

work

hard

Rephrase

harder

show examples

in their middle

age

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than some

youngersts

Correct your spelling

younger

For example

, a study shows that 55% of elderly

people

are more into doing career because of their

financil

Correct your spelling

financial

background and

also

they

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because they

show examples

have

energy

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the energy

show examples

and physical balance to do

work

Hence

, it can be said that

age

cannot limit

people

's achievements.

Secondly

, most

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apply

show examples

Add an article

the underprivillaged

show examples

underprivillaged

Correct your spelling

underprivileged

countries have

economic

Add an article

an economic

show examples

crisis

Fix the agreement mistake

crises

show examples

and most

people

are supposed to do more than one job to overcome their poor life

syles

Correct your spelling

styles

show examples

For instance

, recent research depicts that 67% of

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

show examples

have to do what kind of career to earn money by

ignorying

Correct your spelling

ignoring

their

age

as well.

Therfore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, it is good to have

such

kind of law in a particular country. In conclusion, there is a stringent law that can be applied for

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

show examples

age

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not a ban for a job.

This

is a positive

development

due to

age

is just a number and he or she can

work

it is acceptable for all

kind

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kinds

show examples

work

environment

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environments

show examples

. It is recommended that

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apply

show examples

this

law can be applied in all countries in the world and before implementing

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apply

show examples

legislation, it should be carry out a thorough analysis

about

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show examples

its

potentional

Correct your spelling

potential

impact not only

society

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on society

show examples

but

also

personal

Change preposition

on personal

show examples

development

as well.

Submitted by nadee.document on Mon Dec 04 2023

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task achievement

Your essay somewhat addresses the prompt, but a more nuanced discussion of the negative and positive aspects would enhance the completeness of your response. Aim to provide a balanced view when the question asks for discussion on both sides.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a logical flow throughout the essay. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and ensure each sentence supports the main idea. The connection between points could be made clearer to improve the coherence.

task achievement

Support your main points with specific examples. General statements are less convincing without concrete evidence. Use studies, statistics, or real-life examples to back up your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Be attentive to grammatical accuracy and use of vocabulary. Errors with word choice and sentence structure can affect clarity and coherence. Regular practice and review of grammar rules will be beneficial.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

Your opinion

In some counties young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies

Some people think that studying online is more effective than studying on campus. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online study?

In the advertisement, bussinesses nowadays usually emphasis that there products sre new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think its a positive or negative developement.

Some people choose to eat meat or fish. They believe that is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.