In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Owing to the economic crisis, nowadays, many

people

Use synonyms

tend to do more than one job

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all over the world. There is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

legislation that shortlisting must not be influenced by candidates's

age

Use synonyms

in some countries.

This

Linking Words

is a positive

development

Use synonyms

since

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

show examples

rights cannot mitigated by

age

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss how

this

Linking Words

phenominan

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

phenomena

can get as a positive

development

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

show examples

goals cannot be covered by

age

Use synonyms

and

againg

Correct your spelling

again

ageing

is a natural flow that every

Use synonyms

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

supposed to

faced

Change the verb

face

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

Age

Use synonyms

is just a number and some

people

Use synonyms

can

work

Use synonyms

hard

Rephrase

harder

show examples

in their middle

age

Use synonyms

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than some

youngersts

Correct your spelling

younger

For example

Linking Words

, a study shows that 55% of elderly

people

Use synonyms

are more into doing career because of their

financil

Correct your spelling

financial

background and

also

Linking Words

they

Correct word choice

because they

show examples

have

energy

Correct article usage

the energy

show examples

and physical balance to do

work

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, it can be said that

age

Use synonyms

cannot limit

people

Use synonyms

's achievements.

Secondly

Linking Words

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

the underprivillaged

show examples

underprivillaged

Correct your spelling

underprivileged

countries have

economic

Add an article

an economic

show examples

crisis

Fix the agreement mistake

crises

show examples

and most

people

Use synonyms

are supposed to do more than one job to overcome their poor life

syles

Correct your spelling

styles

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, recent research depicts that 67% of

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

show examples

have to do what kind of career to earn money by

ignorying

Correct your spelling

ignoring

their

age

Use synonyms

as well.

Therfore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, it is good to have

such

Linking Words

kind of law in a particular country. In conclusion, there is a stringent law that can be applied for

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

show examples

age

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not a ban for a job.

This

Linking Words

is a positive

development

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

age

Use synonyms

is just a number and he or she can

work

Use synonyms

it is acceptable for all

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

work

Use synonyms

environment

Fix the agreement mistake

environments

show examples

. It is recommended that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

law can be applied in all countries in the world and before implementing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

legislation, it should be carry out a thorough analysis

about

Change preposition

show examples

its

potentional

Correct your spelling

potential

impact not only

society

Change preposition

on society

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

personal

Change preposition

on personal

show examples

development

Use synonyms

as well.

nadee.documentMon Dec 04 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay somewhat addresses the prompt, but a more nuanced discussion of the negative and positive aspects would enhance the completeness of your response. Aim to provide a balanced view when the question asks for discussion on both sides.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a logical flow throughout the essay. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and ensure each sentence supports the main idea. The connection between points could be made clearer to improve the coherence.

task achievement

Support your main points with specific examples. General statements are less convincing without concrete evidence. Use studies, statistics, or real-life examples to back up your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Be attentive to grammatical accuracy and use of vocabulary. Errors with word choice and sentence structure can affect clarity and coherence. Regular practice and review of grammar rules will be beneficial.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your suitability for this area of work say when you can attend an interview.
I am writing this email regarding the advertisement you have published for hiring a waitress in your restaurant, which suits my conditions and abilities.
7.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
All places have their own history. Humans always have wanted to search and discover the story behind places. Due to the culture or opinions of the people who live in any country, we can understand why they are interested in knowing the history of their building or house.
7
band
Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?
Health is paramount, irrespective of an individual's age, gender, or origin and so, healthcare experts always stress its significance in daily routine. Regardless, many healthcare professionals find that older people do not heed their advice concerning exercise. In my opinion, this is due to practical concerns, and the best encouragement would be through government initiatives. I shall be expanding on this perception in the following paragraphs.
6.5
band
Some people believe that when designing a building, the most important thing to be considered is the function rather than the outlook. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is often argued that priority should be given to the function of the building while designing rather than the physical appearance. In my opinion, I believe that both outlook and function should be considered equally important because it has such a great influence on people's mood. This essay will discuss my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
7.5
band
Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support.
A group of individuals present the view that one can be robbed anywhere, either on the streets or in their homes, whereas others believe that staying at home would be the safest way of not being robbed. I strongly agree with the former opinion.

In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

Your opinion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

Some people believe that when designing a building, the most important thing to be considered is the function rather than the outlook. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support.