IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think traffic and housing problems in large cities can be solved by moving companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#people #traffic #cities #companies #factories #employees #countryside
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Over the
last
Linking Words
 two or three decades,
migrating
Replace the word
migration
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is
Verb problem
has
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 increased from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 to metropolitan
places
Use synonyms
 enormously
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the world. Some claim that congestion and residential issues can be solved in cities with the enterprises and their employees might
move
Use synonyms
 to the village locations. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for the following reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, cities
are suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 issues, especially the peak hours because the office-goers are occupied
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 road to reach
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 on time. But when companies are moved to
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
while
Linking Words
 people do not
stuck
Change the verb form
stick
show examples
 with congestion and their route
also
Linking Words
 out of the
city
Use synonyms
 in order to
traffic
Use synonyms
 might be reduced.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey conducted by the Times of India said that clearly, India the state of Mumbai
city
Use synonyms
 has reduced
traffic
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
cause that
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
 many enterprises have
moved
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 to
suburbs
Replace the word
suburban
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 areas
along with
Linking Words
 workers too because people want a comfortable and convenient lifestyle.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the population's migration main reason for
better
Add an article
a better
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 employment
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 with
higher
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a higher
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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,
therefore
Linking Words
, they
move
Use synonyms
 from their own land to
urban
Correct article usage
an urban
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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,
as a result
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 does not
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 the needs of the residential
places
Use synonyms
. Companies
move
Use synonyms
 to rural
places
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the population
do
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not
interest
Replace the word
interested
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 to
move
Use synonyms
 urban
places
Use synonyms
 in order
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing problems might be fixed.
For example
Linking Words
, metropolitan locations have apartments and flats type of housing
instead
Linking Words
 of single
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, factories might shift to
suburbs
Replace the word
suburban
show examples
 areas
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue will be
soved
Correct your spelling
solved
saved
loved
 tremendously. In conclusion,
traffic
Use synonyms
 and housing
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 might be fixed when companies
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
shift their manufacturing units to rural venues,
therefore
Linking Words
 public does not suffer these kinds of troubles.
Hence
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. I hope
this
Linking Words
 drives many benefits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay contains a clear, logical structure that guides the reader smoothly from one point to the next. Aim for a more robust interconnection between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clear statement and conclude it by summarizing your main points and restating your position. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly stated.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clearly elaborated arguments and appropriate examples. Make your examples more specific and directly relevant to the point they are intended to illustrate.
task achievement
Address the prompt fully, with a complete response to each aspect of the task. Make sure your position on the statement (agree/disagree) is clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to ensure they are comprehensive and easily understandable. Work on creating a smooth progression of ideas with clear, logical explanations.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to back up your arguments. Generic statements should be avoided in favor of clear examples that directly support your position.
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