Small town center shops are running out of business because rural residents tend to go shopping in big cities store. To what extent do the disadvantages of this development outweigh the advantages?

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With the improved transport infrastructure across the rural communities, the small town centre

shops

Use synonyms

are running out of

business

Use synonyms

because the dwellers do shopping in the bigger

cities

Use synonyms

Such

Linking Words

developments would probably have more disadvantages than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advantages. In the following lines, I will elaborate on

this

Linking Words

. The transportation services from improved roads to the transport medium linking rural communities to the bigger

cities

Use synonyms

have shrunk the customers of those rural town

shops

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because the people from the villages go directly to the bigger

cities

Use synonyms

to get

things

Correct article usage

the things

show examples

they want. They no longer depend much on rural

shops

Use synonyms

. The shift in shopping has directly affected rural shopkeepers who could hardly sell their goods.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, they challenge bigger

cities

Use synonyms

to work harder to compete with them and bring services to the rural community.

However

Linking Words

, the innovation they make to create

a comfortable shopping centres

Correct the article-noun agreement

a comfortable shopping centre

comfortable shopping centres

show examples

at the rural level can be advantageous.

For instance

Linking Words

, Investing an amount in building infrastructure and finding better

business

Use synonyms

partners to initiate

business

Use synonyms

structure.

This

Linking Words

offers them an opportunity to bring their notice to the rural community. Despite the fact that if less number customers to their

business

Use synonyms

set up,

then

Linking Words

it will obviously fail.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there are lots of challenges

while

Linking Words

coming up with the big ideas. To draw a conclusion, halting rural people from depending on bigger

cities

Use synonyms

, the merchants need to open their eyes to create comfortable and competent rural

shops

Use synonyms

. So the rural folks will not rush to the bigger

cities

Use synonyms

rinchennima77Tue Dec 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a precise logical structure with clear topic sentences starting each paragraph and effectively summarizing the main point. To improve, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea of the paragraph, and that all sentences that follow relate directly to this topic sentence.

coherence cohesion

Although an introduction and conclusion are present, they are not very effective. They should succinctly introduce and summarize the main arguments of the essay in a manner that encapsulates the question at hand and the writer's viewpoint. To enhance your introduction and conclusion, present your thesis statement more clearly and recap your main points more distinctly in your conclusion, directly addressing the extent to which disadvantages outweigh advantages.

coherence cohesion

Main points are noted but not developed with extensive support or persuasive reasoning. To advance this aspect, provide more detailed explanations, clear reasoning, or specific examples that support the main points. Strengthen paragraphs by linking the supporting information directly back to the essay's overall thesis.

task achievement

Your response is somewhat complete, but it only partially addresses the task of discussing to what extent the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Delve deeper by discussing specific disadvantages and advantages in more detail, comparing them directly to answer the essay question.

task achievement

While some ideas are clear, the essay lacks comprehensive development of those ideas. Try to expand on the given ideas with further exposition, detail, and supporting argumentation. Furthermore, ensure that the ideas you present are relevant to the question and provide a balanced view.

task achievement

The essay includes a few specific examples, but more could be used to strengthen the argument. Remember to use relevant and specific examples that underscore your points and make your arguments more convincing. These examples should be directly linked to the main points you are trying to make.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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I hope you are doing well.

Small town center shops are running out of business because rural residents tend to go shopping in big cities store. To what extent do the disadvantages of this development outweigh the advantages?

Fully explain your ideas

A lot of places in the world rely on tourist as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

You have recently read an article in the newspaper about someone you know personally. You found that some information is wrong. Write a letter to the editor to inform him about it. In your letter, write: what the article is about what the error is what you expect the editor to do

It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resources.

You attended a conference and noticed that a speaker gave incorrect information. - say what was the mistake - how it influenced the presentation suggest a way to correct it Write letter