Small town center shops are running out of business because rural residents tend to go shopping in big cities store. To what extent do the disadvantages of this development outweigh the advantages?
With the improved transport infrastructure across the rural communities, the small town centre
shops
are running out of business
because the dwellers do shopping in the bigger cities
. Such
developments would probably have more disadvantages than the
advantages. In the following lines, I will elaborate on Correct article usage
apply
this
.
The transportation services from improved roads to the transport medium linking rural communities to the bigger cities
have shrunk the customers of those rural town shops
. This
is because the people from the villages go directly to the bigger cities
to get things
they want. They no longer depend much on rural Correct article usage
the things
shops
. The shift in shopping has directly affected rural shopkeepers who could hardly sell their goods.
Nevertheless
, they challenge bigger cities
to work harder to compete with them and bring services to the rural community. However
, the innovation they make to create a comfortable shopping centres
at the rural level can be advantageous. Correct the article-noun agreement
a comfortable shopping centre
comfortable shopping centres
For instance
, Investing an amount in building infrastructure and finding better business
partners to initiate business
structure. This
offers them an opportunity to bring their notice to the rural community. Despite the fact that if less number customers to their business
set up, then
it will obviously fail. Therefore
, there are lots of challenges while
coming up with the big ideas.
To draw a conclusion, halting rural people from depending on bigger cities
, the merchants need to open their eyes to create comfortable and competent rural shops
. So the rural folks will not rush to the bigger cities
.Submitted by rinchennima77 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a precise logical structure with clear topic sentences starting each paragraph and effectively summarizing the main point. To improve, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea of the paragraph, and that all sentences that follow relate directly to this topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Although an introduction and conclusion are present, they are not very effective. They should succinctly introduce and summarize the main arguments of the essay in a manner that encapsulates the question at hand and the writer's viewpoint. To enhance your introduction and conclusion, present your thesis statement more clearly and recap your main points more distinctly in your conclusion, directly addressing the extent to which disadvantages outweigh advantages.
coherence cohesion
Main points are noted but not developed with extensive support or persuasive reasoning. To advance this aspect, provide more detailed explanations, clear reasoning, or specific examples that support the main points. Strengthen paragraphs by linking the supporting information directly back to the essay's overall thesis.
task achievement
Your response is somewhat complete, but it only partially addresses the task of discussing to what extent the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Delve deeper by discussing specific disadvantages and advantages in more detail, comparing them directly to answer the essay question.
task achievement
While some ideas are clear, the essay lacks comprehensive development of those ideas. Try to expand on the given ideas with further exposition, detail, and supporting argumentation. Furthermore, ensure that the ideas you present are relevant to the question and provide a balanced view.
task achievement
The essay includes a few specific examples, but more could be used to strengthen the argument. Remember to use relevant and specific examples that underscore your points and make your arguments more convincing. These examples should be directly linked to the main points you are trying to make.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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