The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates information about how people in Australia recycle
water
from rainwater to usable
water
. As can be seen from the diagram, it is obvious that there are five key stages in the process which can convert from unusable
water
to
water
that can be used.
To begin
with, each dwelling installs the roof and the gutters on the top side of the house, and the bottom side of the house is connected with a pipe. When it rains, rainwater is collected on their roof and
then
flows down to the gutters.
Secondly
,
water
runs down the pipe at the side of the dwelling into the drain at the bottom.
Then
, rainwater through the process in a
water
filter removes physical, biological and chemical contaminations from various causes
as a result
of making purified
water
. In the next detail,
water
which is processed will be sent into storage. When people use
water
,
water
in which big tank is transferred to
water
treatment for clean
water
passed chemicals.
Lastly
,
water
is delivered to people in each dwelling.
Submitted by champperkhu on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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