IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#rain #water #australian #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrates information about how people in Australia recycle
water
Use synonyms
 from rainwater to usable
water
Use synonyms
. As can be seen from the diagram, it is obvious that there are five key stages in the process which can convert from unusable
water
Use synonyms
 to
water
Use synonyms
 that can be used.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, each dwelling installs the roof and the gutters on the top side of the house, and the bottom side of the house is connected with a pipe. When it rains, rainwater is collected on their roof and
then
Linking Words
 flows down to the gutters.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 runs down the pipe at the side of the dwelling into the drain at the bottom.
Then
Linking Words
, rainwater through the process in a
water
Use synonyms
 filter removes physical, biological and chemical contaminations from various causes
as a result
Linking Words
 of making purified
water
Use synonyms
. In the next detail,
water
Use synonyms
 which is processed will be sent into storage. When people use
water
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,
water
Use synonyms
 in which big tank is transferred to
water
Use synonyms
 treatment for clean
water
Use synonyms
 passed chemicals.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 is delivered to people in each dwelling.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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