Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organization #people #leader

It’s obvious that the

leader

of an

organisation

will usually be an experienced elder

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

. Sticking on

such

trend

Correct article usage

a trend

show examples

, some

people

argue that even young

people

can take a lead

Change preposition

show examples

organisation

. I certainly disagree with the statement. Inexperienced young individuals are not fit for a

leader

For instance

, you are pretty smart and a recent college graduate without having much

experience

in the

relavent

Correct your spelling

relevant

field. If you become a

leader

of an

organisation

, you will

be lacking

Wrong verb form

lack

show examples

certain qualities of a

leader

, including

personel

Correct your spelling

personnel

personal

relation

Fix the agreement mistake

relations

show examples

Correct word choice

and, wide

show examples

wide

Add an article

a wide

show examples

range of

experience

in the field which may lead to

fail

Wrong verb form

failure in

show examples

the responsibilities.

Therefore

, certain qualities of a

leader

must

obtain

Wrong verb form

be obtained

show examples

through

experience

However

, there are other

group

Change the wording

groups

show examples

people

who think that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young individuals can lead an

organisation

as long as they possess the

qualification

Fix the agreement mistake

qualifications

show examples

. They

reasons

Change the verb form

reason

show examples

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

by stating an example of a

leader

who can perform his duty on time and make his co-members

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

follow his

advises

Replace the word

advice

show examples

and

held

Wrong verb form

hold

show examples

some conferences.

This

is not all about the

leader

, he must be able to solve the problems associated with the

organisation

and the conflicts within the members.

This

can only be

able

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

negotiate

Wrong verb form

negotiated

show examples

by those who have spent much of their time in the preexisting working environment.

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

the older with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

experience

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will get more moral support than the fresher ones. So elderly

people

are

ment

Correct your spelling

meant

le lead an

organisation

To conclude

experience

matters

to lead

Change preposition

in leading

show examples

organisation

. So younger

people

must

exclude

Wrong verb form

be excluded

show examples

from

leaders

Correct article usage

the leaders

show examples

list.

Then

the

organisation

will prosper.

Submitted by rinchennima77 on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay does not present ideas in a clear logical structure. Sentences often do not follow coherently from one to the next, making it difficult for the reader to follow the line of reasoning. Paragraphing needs to be improved to help delineate main ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not effective in framing the discussion, nor do they introduce or conclude the ideas strongly.

coherence cohesion

Main points are somewhat supported, but the supporting explanations are not fully developed, and there is a lack of clear, specific examples to substantiate the claims made.

task achievement

The response is complete but lacks depth and development of ideas. The essay needs to directly address all parts of the task in a more detailed and extended manner.

task achievement

The essay's ideas are not comprehensive or clear, and they require further development and substantiation to make a strong argument.

task achievement

The essay does not effectively use relevant, specific examples to support the main points. The inclusion of more detailed examples would enhance the argument's effectiveness.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is traffic on roads. Traffic on roads has become a problem in the world. It is undeniable that cars has become an essential part of our life

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extend do you agree?

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.