Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree

It’s obvious that the
leader
of an
organisation
will usually be an experienced elder person. Sticking on
such
a trend, some
people
argue that even young
people
can take a lead in an
organisation
. I certainly disagree with the statement. Inexperienced young individuals are not fit for a
leader
.
For instance
, you are pretty smart and a recent college graduate without having much
experience
in the relevant field. If you become a
leader
of an
organisation
, you will lack certain qualities of a
leader
, including personnel relations and, a wide range of
experience
in the field which may lead to failure in the responsibilities.
Therefore
, certain qualities of a
leader
must be obtained through
experience
.
However
, there are other groups of
people
who think that young individuals can lead an
organisation
as long as they possess the qualifications. They reason by stating an example of a
leader
who can perform his duty on time and make his co-members follow his
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
and hold some conferences.
This
is not all about the
leader
, he must be able to solve the problems associated with the
organisation
and the conflicts within the members.
This
can only be negotiated by those who have spent much of their time in the preexisting working environment.
In addition
, the older with
experience
will get more moral support than the fresher ones. So elderly
people
are meant le lead an
organisation
.
To conclude
,
experience
matters in leading an
organisation
. So younger
people
must be excluded from the leaders list.
Then
the
organisation
will prosper.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Ideas are presented in a manner that can be confusing to follow, and there is no clear progression of your argument. To improve, outline your main points before you start writing and ensure each paragraph builds upon the previous one to enhance flow and clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have failed to properly introduce the topic in the introduction and the conclusion does not wrap up the arguments presented. Ensure that your essay starts with a clear thesis statement that states your main argument and finishes with a conclusion that summarises the points made.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be fully developed and supported by specific examples or evidence. In this essay, there are assertions made without clear support. For a higher score, ensure that each main point is elaborated upon with specific examples, evidence or further explanation.
task achievement
Your essay does not provide a complete response to the prompt given. It is imperative to address all parts of the task and present a balanced view if required by the question prompt. To achieve this, you need to argumentatively discuss both sides or present why you agree or disagree with the prompt, supported by reasons and examples.
task achievement
While you present some ideas, they are not comprehensive or fully developed. Look to articulate your ideas clearly and develop them thoroughly. Provide reasoned arguments and expand on your ideas with clear commentary or explanation.
task achievement
You have not used relevant or specific examples to support your arguments. Examples are essential in illustrating your points and making your arguments convincing. For future essays, use concrete examples, real-world situations or hypothetical scenarios to bolster your points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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