IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The figure below is a town planning map, showing the likely positions of two new shopping centres as well as the various different zones and major transportation routes of the town.

#figure #town #positions #two #centres #zones #transportation #routes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given urban planning map of the unknown
town
 depicts the locations of new shopping Centre A and Shopping Centre B
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 indicating the different zones and transportation routes. The
town
 is comprised of 4 different areas with the largest rural zone encompassing the other three different zones.
While
 the central
business
 hub is surrounded by the residential area, the industrial zones are scattered
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the East and West sides of the suburbs.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the middle of the residential area, there is the central
business
 district,
forbiddening
Correct your spelling
forbidding
forbidden
 any traffic.
As a consequence
, the three main roads - stretching from the top left
corner
, the top left
corner
 and the bottom right
corner
 of the
town
 - terminate outside of the
business
 hub. One exception is the railway which can penetrate the centre, bringing visitors from the South to the Northwest of the
town
.
Overall
, A is considered more convenient than B
due to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better accessibility no matter
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the modes
transportation
Change preposition
of transportation
show examples
 and the choice of the location. As A will be situated at the middle point of the
business
 area, the three main roads
together with
 the railway are able to transport visitors from the outskirts of the city to the mall. Compared to A, B will be
locating
Change the form of the verb
located
show examples
further
 apart at the top
left hand
Add a hyphen
left-hand
show examples
corner
 of the
town
, and between the railway and road.
Submitted by ardentpicks on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a cohesive and coherent structure, which makes it difficult to follow. Consider using paragraphs to separate distinct ideas and include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Furthermore, work on linking your sentences and ideas more effectively with a variety of linking words and phrases.
task achievement
While you have attempted to address the task, there are significant errors with the specific details you have presented, which impacts the accuracy of your response. Ensure that you are providing specific and accurate examples that correspond with the map given in the task. Additionally, work on fully developing your main points to demonstrate a complete understanding of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: