IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who attended four different attractions in Brighton.

The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who attended four different attractions in Brighton.
The graph above shows the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of tourists with the
purposes
Fix the agreement mistake
purpose
show examples
 of visiting four types of Brighton attractions in England. There are four types of attractions
show
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as Art Gallery, Pavilion, Pier and Festival. Those
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
survey
Fix the agreement mistake
surveys
show examples
acquired
Add a missing verb
were acquired
show examples
 from 1980 to 2010
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
showing the
fluctuative
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
 value
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 every
attraction
Use synonyms
. In 1980,
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the first survey
held
Add a missing verb
was held
show examples
,
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the
mosth
Correct your spelling
most
popularities
Replace the word
popularity
show examples
 among the others. Festival
Use synonyms
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every 5 years
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
 stagnant which means
this
Linking Words
attraction
Use synonyms
 does not have any significant
changed
Replace the word
changes
show examples
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 the Festival,
Pier
Correct article usage
the Pier
show examples
attraction
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increasing value despite in the 1990 was decreased. Art gallery
attraction
Use synonyms
, which
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 1985,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popularity
become
Verb problem
has
show examples
 decreased until now (2010). The highest score
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 was reached in 1995 by Pavilion
Use synonyms
attraction
Capitalize word
Attraction
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 value
almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, attraction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • tourists
  • attractions
  • trends
  • popularity
  • seasonal variations
  • attendance figures
  • locality
  • predicting
  • data analysis
  • fluctuations
  • peak season
  • decline
  • increment
  • steady
  • plummet
  • surge
  • stagnate
  • benchmark
  • correlate
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