IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
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People
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 have different views about how much choice
students
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 should have with regard to what they can
study
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 at
university
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 One school of thought argues that it would be better for
students
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 to be forced to
study
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 certain key subject areas.
On the other hand
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,
second
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the second
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 school of thought believes that they should be able to
study
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 the course of their choice. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides with my opinion in the conclusion. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 myriad
of
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apply
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reasons why
people
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 believe that
university
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 should only offer
subjects
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 that will be useful in the future, but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that
university
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 courses like medicine, engineering and information technology provide more job opportunities, career progression,
better
Correct word choice
and better
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 salaries. Another pivotal aspect of
this
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 argument is that, by forcing
people
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 to choose particular
university
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subjects
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,
government
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the government
show examples
 can ensure that any knowledge and skill gaps in the country are adequately covered.
For example
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, a focus on technology in higher education could lead to new innovations, economic growth and greater future prosperity. In spite of these arguments, some hold the opinion that
university
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students
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 should be free to choose their preferred areas of
study
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 because society and
economy
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the economy
show examples
 will benefit more if
students
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 are passionate about what they are learning.
Besides
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, nobody can really predict which areas of knowledge will be most useful to society and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 in the future. In conclusion,
although
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 it might seem sensible for universities to provide liberty to
people
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 to
study
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subjects
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 of their choice, I have
an
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the
show examples
 insight to support the fact that science and technology
subjects
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 should be focused
for
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on
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better
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the better
a better
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 lifestyle of
people
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 and
for
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on
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economic
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the economic
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 growth of the country.
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure; however, the development of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear, but main points need to be better supported with specific examples and elaboration to enhance coherence.
task achievement
A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The response addresses all parts of the task although the arguments for each side could be more fully extended and supported by more specific examples. The conclusion is present but could better synthesize the main points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
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