IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The chart details the length of different quality water in rivers in England, water quality of English rivers (in 1000s km) at 1993-2003

#length #quality #water #rivers #england #english #km
The bar chart illustrates the
water
quality
 of rivers in England based on three categories Good, Fair and Poor between 1993 and 2003.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the
water
quality
 indicates significantly
good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
quality
 than fair and poor conditions during the periods. Units are measured in 1000s km. In 1993, the
water
quality
 indicated around the same portion for good and fair
quality
, at approximately 12 to 12,5. The good condition of
water
quality
 surpasses rapidly to 18,5,
while
 the fair
quality
 of
water
 remains at 12.
This
 situation changed gradually over the years, but good
quality
 still takes the majority of river length than fair condition.
At the end
 of the period, the good
quality
 length decreased by 21 and the fair
quality
 by 9. Poor
quality
 length of the English River was the lowest over the periods. Starting from the beginning periods at 9,5 points
then
 dipping to a low of 3,5 in 1994. Less change was seen in the remaining years, until the end of the period by 4.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You should pay close attention to the overall clarity of the essay structure. Introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should be distinct and clearly identifiable, with clear topic sentences and progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
You must ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of the essay without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be developed with relevant supporting details or examples, and the relationship between main points and the supporting information needs to be obvious.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are adequately covered and that comparisons, where required, are made clear to the reader.
task achievement
Your essay should present ideas that are developed comprehensively and expressed in a way that aids reader's understanding.
task achievement
Your examples and data should be both relevant to the task and specific enough to support your points effectively. Avoid general statements when detailed support is necessary.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: