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Writing Samples
Band 2

Percentage of adults by age group using the internet every day (2003-2006)

#percentage #adults #age #group #internet
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The bar chart compares how many proportions of adults used the
Internet
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 between 2003 and 2006.
Overall
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, there was an upward trend in all ages.
However
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, the rate for young
people
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 a dominant position on using the
Internet
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 than the rest.
To begin
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 with, 90% of young
people
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 aged
by
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apply
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16-24 used the
Internet
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 which was the highest proportion in 2005.
This
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 index declined slightly
at
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to
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 85% in 2006. There was a similar figure for 2003 and 2004 at 80%.
Also
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,
people
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 aged
by
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apply
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25-44 used the
Internet
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 which reached its peak at 80% in 2006. The indication for 2005, 2004 and 2003 decreased gradually at 79%, 72% and 70% respectively. In stark contrast, using the
Internet
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 aged
by
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apply
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45-54 saw a slight fall in all years. 70% of
people
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 used the
Internet
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 which was the highest for 2006,
while
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 55% was the smallest one for 2003. The shares for 2004 and 2005 experienced almost the same position
on
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at
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 68% and 62% respectively.
In addition
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,
Internet
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 usage aged
by
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apply
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55-64 and over 65 witnessed a gradual fall in the given periods. In 2003, the index for adults above 65 was
the
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apply
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only 2% which was the tiniest indication.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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task achievement
Your introduction lacks a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. Ensure that you summarize the key points and not just restate the topic. This is crucial for the reader to get a clear understanding of the overall trends right at the beginning.
task achievement
Your main points are supported by some data but it appears that there has been selective reporting of figures which may not fully represent the trends described. Make sure that whenever you mention a trend, it is backed by sufficient and appropriately selected data from the chart to demonstrate accuracy and understanding of the chart's information.
task achievement
Your essay lacks a clear conclusion or summary. Always include a clear ending, summarizing the main points or giving a final perspective on the data. This affects the completeness of the response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical flow of ideas. Use appropriate paragraphing to separate different points and help guide the reader through your response.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a range of cohesive devices effectively to help with the flow of the essay. This could include referencing words, substitutions, discourse markers and conjunctions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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