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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart bar gives information about shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan.

The bar chart bar gives information about shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan.
#bar #information #shares #expenditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan
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The bar chart illustrates data about the main spending of five developed
countries
Use synonyms
 for the five various consumer goods
such
Linking Words
 as food, housing, transportation, health care and clothing. Units are measured
Change preposition
as percentage
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percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the spending amount of money on housing for all
countries
Use synonyms
 accounts
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 most popular spending on consumer goods, except for Japan.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health care and clothing experience below
of
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apply
show examples
average spending, approximately 5-7%. On the one hand, the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on housing for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 population is much higher than another 4
countries
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 Japan people spending accounts
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
reamrkable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
 amount for both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food and housing, 23% and 22%, respectively. Interestingly, transportation
expenditure
Use synonyms
 is the third highest figure for the
countries
Use synonyms
 except for
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 in which it accounts
15
Change preposition
for 15
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% of total transportation spending for the English. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 hand, the health care and clothing expenses
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the unpopular part of the whole shares of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 for selected categories for 5
countries
Use synonyms
. Following
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
healtcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 spending of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 is about 3% higher than the
closthing
Correct your spelling
clothing
closing
expenditure
Use synonyms
. By the way, Canada and UK spending on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothing is the above of 5% of total shares of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 for selected consumer goods, 6 % and 7 % ,respectively.
Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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