Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture difference. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While
a group of people
claim that aligning with local traditions
and practices should be mandatory for tourists throughour
their accommodation, certain individuals contend the notion that visited Correct your spelling
throughout
through our
countries
should be tolerant of new cultures, enabling multiculturalism to exist amongst traditional values. I firmly hold the view that in this
era, impeding countries
from diversifying their traditions
is a futile effort, thus
they should show tolerance for visitors to express their own values.
To begin
with, many people
anticipate travelers
visiting their country to show respect to their customs, even Change the spelling
travellers
so
to adopt local behaviours by Add the comma(s)
so,
relinguishing
their own. Correct your spelling
relinquishing
For example
, countries
like France, Germany, and Switzerland do not accept people
travelling through their countries
to disrespect their traditions
and display incompetent behaviours in public. Furthermore
, a heavy price awaits the ones who shows
willingness to infringe upon Change the verb form
show
the
traditional customs Correct article usage
apply
such
as speaking outloud
in public or disregarding Correct your spelling
out loud
the
ethical behaviours. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, in Arabic countries
it is prohibited for men to shake hand
with women, Fix the agreement mistake
hands
therefore
, tourists should also
recede themselves
from doing the opposite.
On the one hand, a few Verb problem
refrain
countries
with a rich cultural norms
provide an environment of freedom and tolerance for newcomers to blend in with others with unique Correct the article-noun agreement
rich cultural norms
a rich cultural norm
traditions
. Canada is also
known as Correct article usage
a melting-pot
melting-pot
of cultures, Correct your spelling
melting pot
has
the best background for multiculturalism to uphold and surge in every direction possible. Owing to Canada's open Correct word choice
and has
mindness
, both locals and visitors enrich their experiences and disparities, Correct your spelling
mindedness
minded
thus
laying the foundation of a more inclusive and tolerat
global community.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
tolerant
although
there are differences in people
's cultures and manners, fostering a culture of coexisting values can contribute to a more harmonious world.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
supported main points
Make sure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea that is developed and expanded with specific details. While some of your points are supported, there's room to further deepen the expansion of each view with more specific examples.
logical structure
Work on creating clearer topic sentences that will guide the reader to each new idea. This will help in structuring your essay in a way that makes it easier to follow and understand.
introduction conclusion present
While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, ensure each also includes a stronger thesis and concluding statement to summarize your stance more clearly.
complete response
Although you have addressed the task, make sure that you answer all parts of the question evenly. Make sure to provide a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay demonstrates a volume of clear, comprehensive ideas. To improve, provide a linear progression of thoughts by connecting them to a consistent central argument throughout the essay.
relevant specific examples
You have utilized relevant specific examples which are good for argument development. Integrate these examples more seamlessly into your narrative and ensure they directly support your overall argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!