IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #summaries #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart illustrates three different expenses of each
group
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 by their ages in the United Kingdom in 2004. The chart shows in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the graph that entertainment, food, and drink seemed to follow
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 trend, which is
uptrend
Add an article
an uptrend
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 seemed to be
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
, which is
downtrend
Correct article usage
a downtrend
show examples
 along
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 age range. Considering food and drink spending, it rose steadily from just over 5% for the
group
Use synonyms
 of under-30-year old to around 23% for the elders, who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more than 76 years old. For entertainment expenditure, it was almost the same at nearly 6% for
people
Use synonyms
 under 45,
then
Linking Words
 increased gradually to the peak at around 23% in
people
Use synonyms
with age
Change preposition
aged
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
61 to 75 years old.
Finally
Linking Words
, it dropped to under 15% for
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
 and hotel
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 at
peak
Add an article
a peak
show examples
 at just under 15% for
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 in society,
then
Linking Words
 minimally fell to nearly 12% for 46 to 60-year-old
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it dramatically dropped to around 3% for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
group
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 rose to around 7% for the oldest
group
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bhurin.kua on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words group, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: