IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The chart illustrates three different expenses of each
group
 of
people
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 by their ages in the United Kingdom in 2004. The chart shows in percentages.
Overall
, it can be seen from the graph that entertainment, food, and drink seemed to follow
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 trend, which is
uptrend
Add an article
an uptrend
show examples
,
while
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 seemed to be
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
, which is
downtrend
Correct article usage
a downtrend
show examples
 along
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 age range. Considering food and drink spending, it rose steadily from just over 5% for the
group
 of under-30-year old to around 23% for the elders, who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more than 76 years old. For entertainment expenditure, it was almost the same at nearly 6% for
people
 under 45,
then
 increased gradually to the peak at around 23% in
people
with age
Change preposition
aged
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
61 to 75 years old.
Finally
, it dropped to under 15% for
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
show examples
people
.
On the contrary
,
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
 and hotel
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 at
peak
Add an article
a peak
show examples
 at just under 15% for
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
group
 in society,
then
 minimally fell to nearly 12% for 46 to 60-year-old
people
.
However
, it dramatically dropped to around 3% for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
group
,
then
 rose to around 7% for the oldest
group
.
Submitted by bhurin.kua on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words group, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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