IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #passengers #train #sydney #second #information #percentage #trains #time #summarise #features #comparisons
The first line
graph
 given illustrates the amount of
passengers
 commuting by train in Sydney. The second
graph
 given shows the proportion of
trains
 running on
time
.
Overall
, in the first
graph
, it is obvious that the number of train
passengers
 increased over the period from 1995 to 2004.
While
 2001 had the most
passengers
 in the year, the opposite will be true for 1995. In the second
graph
, we can easily see that the percentage of
trains
 running on
time
 has rapidly decreased over
time
. The highest percentage of
trains
 running on
time
 appeared in 1999. In 1995, Sydney had approximately 250 million
passengers
 who commuted by train which is the least in 9 years.
However
, there was a significant rise in the number of
passengers
, nearly 300 million people in 2001. In 1999, there was about 93% of
trains
 running on
time
 in Sydney. Unfortunately, a dramatic drop happened, which turned the proportion of running on-
time
trains
 to just roughly 72% in 2004.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, passengers, trains, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: