The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is concurred by many that, governments should devote additional funds to
science
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and technology to develop the nation.
However
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, some believe other
subjects
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have equal importance.I greatly agree with the first statement ,
science
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is an integral part of any
country
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's development and it has improved the life of each and every person in various aspects.I will discuss both viewpoints in subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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with, the primary reason for
this
Linking Words

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view is that scientific teaching teaches us critical thinking.
Science
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is based on the facts and numerous research that have been done in order to answer the questions.
Science
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is not based on myths or superstitions,without it, people would have believed in the myths or tales of old ignorant ancestors.
Furthermore
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,
that is
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the reason development requires
science
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.To epitomize, it has been proven several times that people who follow
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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myths and superstitions are mostly illiterate
as well as
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

not
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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critical
thinker
Fix the agreement mistake
thinkers

It seems that thinker may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, more funding
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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science
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will help the development of a
country
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.
On the contrary
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, of
course
Add a comma
course,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase of course. Consider adding a comma.

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there are other
subjects
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that students need to learn ,without them, they wo not be able to perform well in life.
Science
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helps to explain the world but to live in the world we need help from other
subjects
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as well.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, without
art
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, literature &commerce we won't be able to understand each other, these
subjects
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are important for the necessity of life.An advanced society requires both
science
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and
art
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to progress the nation.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, France is a
country
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basically on
art
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and literature and it is one of the most developed countries in the world.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, both
science
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and
art
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go hand in hand to increase the productivity and growth of a
country
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. In conclusion, having mulled over the aforementioned paragraph
it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
science
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

helps nations to think clearly and make decisions based on evidence
not
Add the comma(s)
, not

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the negative appositive on evidence not on old tales. Consider adding the comma(s).

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on old tales. Without
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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basic understanding of
science
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, it would be a much worse place to live in.

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Introduction & Conclusion
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Logical Structure
Organize your essay with a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and subsequent sentences should support it. Transitions between paragraphs must flow naturally. Consider using topic sentences and cohesive devices more effectively.
Supported Main Points
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Complete Response
Address all parts of the task directly and make your position clear throughout the essay. Develop your arguments comprehensively, showing a nuanced understanding of the topic.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Express your ideas clearly and develop them with detailed explanations, examples, and arguments. Refrain from using overly complex language if simpler language can convey the same meaning effectively. Clarity is key.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use specific examples to underpin your arguments, enhancing their relevance to the topic. Make sure these examples are directly linked to the question being asked and that they are discussed in depth.
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